Bob Dole has previously posted about Bob Dole's encounter with Joe Montana in the men's room at Tom Fooleries on the Plaza in KC. Though uneventful, it's been a fairly decent story for quite a few years.
Until today, Bob Dole didn't really think much about the circumstances, but now Bob Dole is concerned that perhaps some sort of strange karma-thing is making itself felt.
Bob Dole was in the men's room across the hall from Bob Dole's office about 10 minutes ago, disposing of the last 2 pots of black coffee. A typical run-of-the-mill everyday occurance that Bob Dole is certain many of the people on here have in common.
Anyway, as with the Joe Montana story, the door opens and Bob Dole turns to look (without coughing, thank you) and Ross Perot strolls in and steps up to the urinal next to Bob Dole.
This makes 2 urinal encounters, and Bob Dole is wondering WTF is up with that?
Besides the connection with the previous encounter, this story is only bettered by the fact that Mr. Perot proceeded to do his best impression of General Colon Bowel barking out orders. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, even the very wealthy are apparently afflicted with flatulence now and again.
Unbelievable.
(And if anyone has any thoughts on why Bob Dole seems to be destined for a life of strange urinal encounters, feel free to jump in and explain...) [Reply]
I had every opportunity to become a public figure and I've rebuked each one.
I've long had an aversion to having my bodily functions discussed anywhere outside my presence - and this is a prime example of why I chose the lesser known path.
Shame on you, Bob Dole. Can't a man flatuate in privacy without it appearing in the headlines?
Betcha you could make $1000 by selling this story to the Globe.... [Reply]
Did he 'bark out orders' with the same annoying insistence and Texas drawl as he displayed while debating Gore in Larry King.
Back in college, I submitted a cartoon to the school's underground paper. Pretty good likenesses of Gore outside a stall knocking and Perot inside 'taking care of business.' The title was 'the debate continues' and Perot's speech ballon said "will, you let me finish. . Can I finish. . etc." [Reply]
BTW Bob - did you thank him for costing you the election in '96 and relegating you to keeping your dog from jerking off to Britney Spears commercials? [Reply]
Ross:
Urrrrr...Bob Dole....Here's the deal (Brrrrrrrrrrrrap!) just noticed I'm outta terlet paper over here (ffffrrrrrp!) Bob Dole, got any terlet paper (ffrrrrt!) on your side of the stall?
Bob Dole:
Bob Dole has toilet paper, but not much. Bob Dole has just enough TP for Bob Dole. Sorry, Ross. Bob Dole has to make some hard decisions.
Ross:
Dagnabbit, I'll remember this Bob (toot!) Here's the deal...have you got 4 singles for a $5? [Reply]
He looks pretty much like he looked on television.
Bob Dole just had to leave quickly before Bob Dole busted out laughing or made some smartazz remark. Didn't stick around long enough to sample the wind... [Reply]
