Is online flirting, when you know your S.O. disapproves, OK because you "are only flirting online and not in the real world"?
My opinion (surprise, surprise) is that it's not OK, period. It's said to be OK because it's not face-to-face, and online it's just fun and games.
I call bullsh!t. People meet online friends in person all the time. They even meet their future spouses online. The "it's only online" argument is bogus.
I would also imagine that many of those who feel it's OK would be less than eager to have their own S.O.s discover their activity.
I don't think it's so much what you do, but what your SO's comfort level is. It's ok if you're not exceeding their comfort level. If you are, then it's not right.
Both just have to have clearly defined limits. BD gets along fine with his situation. I couldn't deal with that. As long as you two communicate and get on the same plane as far as expected behavior there is room for lots of different attitudes and tolorance levels. [Reply]
Originally Posted by Clint in Wichita:
Of course not.
I'm just trying to figure out how not being in favor of online flirting equals "high maintenance".
Because it's been a problem in your relationship for as long as I've known you have one. So it's being rehashed and discussed and bitched about. I'm assuming in real life too. I really don't think you 2 live only on the Internet.
So the girl has to hear you whine about this. She has to start hiding stuff from you just so she doesn't have to hear you whine. She has to make sure every little word and thing she says and does doesn't in some way flick your angry man switch. Sounds like a fun way to spend the afternoon on the Internet.
Then she gets to watch you bitch about her in front of everyone.
Originally Posted by Cochise:
I think I would be angry about that. The question to me isn't, "is there anything wrong with it", it's "why do you feel the need to do that...?"
I think the answer to that question is, "because you're not getting it done." And I'm not talking about you specifically... I'm talking in general terms.
In studying communication, there is a principle that has always stuck with me with regards to relationships... It stands true for any relationship, whether it be co-workers, boss-employee, husband-wife... You name it... It simply stated as this: in any relationship where one side perceives a deficit in the relational exchange, that side will (conciously or unconciously) endeavor to achieve balance. [Reply]