Originally Posted by smithandrew051:
I also don’t believe ANY women who say they’d be perfectly happy just getting married at the courthouse.
These women think about their wedding day from the time they’re little girls on. Then, they watch ALL their friends have their big days.
With as much as women compete with each other, I refuse to believe that not having a wedding day is just no big deal. They’re lying to themselves when they say that.
I’ve seen that the courthouse method can work, but it’s one of those things where both parties are truly honest about what they want and need but also with an understanding of what they are missing out on. Those things someone didn’t admit they wanted (perhaps to please the other) will eventually eat at them and can certainly be a sore point. I’ll definitely say though that if either or both are religious, the courthouse method is absolutely something that will carry regret and possible resentment. [Reply]
One of my best friends got married at the courthouse and they're doing fine 25 years later. Neither he or his wife was particularly religious or had a big family. They had a small reception dinner afterward, and then used the proceeds of what they would have spent on a big traditional wedding to go on a nice honeymoon in Europe. I would have probably been the best man, and I'd already been a part of enough big, overblown weddings that I was fine with one less. Cost me zero cash, time or grief. Got a nice free dinner, and that was that. Worked for me. Being a groomsman in my wedding was certainly more of a pain in the ass for him. :-) [Reply]
My parents, God rest their souls, were born in the 1930's. So they came from a MUCH different world than the one they raised me in, in the 70's and 80's. We are Catholic, and my folks took that relatively seriously, so my 3 siblings and I were raised in the faith.
My mom was (and is) a saint. My father, well, he could be awesome and terrible, depending on the circumstance. Did he do everything right? Hell no, not by a long shot. But he loved us all, and we knew it, even if he didn't say it much when we were kids. He left that up to my mom.
In fact, I remember thinking that everybody else had ****ed up families, but we were just fine. It wasn't until me and the siblings got together about 15 years ago and started talking that I fully saw that we indeed had some stink in our family.
But in the end, mom and dad loved us and did their absolute best. What more can you ask? I'm now left with the memories of how I was raised and I compare them to how my kids were raised. They are 30 and 33 now, so I can pretty much see the results. Guess what? I'm not really better or worse than my folks were, all things considered.
Originally Posted by ThaVirus:
That’s it. I’m locking this thread lol
Are you doing anything afterwards? Something that still makes it a special day where you take photos with each other and other family? Family gathering in some way? Etc? [Reply]
Hard to say. But I had way too much freedom as a kid and it got me into lots of trouble, and lots of hanging with the wrong people. It’s crazy to think back to some of the shit that seemed normal back then because of the circles we hung in. My kids didn’t get that kinda long leash. Neither my wife or I graduated high school. We made sure the girls did, and our son would have had he not passed. But losing a kid kinda murks up my thoughts on it. Because as fucked as my childhood was, my parents didn’t lose a kid. So it’s a toss up to me. [Reply]
Originally Posted by scho63:
Considering how today's youth acts, I'm saying a big fat NO.
When I was growing up my generation was considered too radical. Our music was the devils work etc.
As I've got older its been a realization that this is the circle of life. Each generation causes the previous generations of society to think we are all are going to hell in a hand basket. I don't like Tic-Toc's format at all. Gpr the most part. I dont find their music good.
They are now having their time to define music, politics and views in our society. I say let them be whoever they are, just like we did in our time. [Reply]
After I came home from my first EDM show I was all sorts of excited. I told my dude how impressed I was with the current crop of 20 year olds. All the girls were hot and naked and the boys didn’t care.
My dude laughed and said “oh no, they still care. They’ve just been taught they can’t be gross about it anymore.”
I nurture 20 year olds. The generation we’re in doesn’t make you an old fart. You make you an old fart. [Reply]
Originally Posted by Rain Man:
Moving out to a slightly different question, a question for everybody. Do you find that your relationship with your parents was better in childhood or as an adult? In other words, did your relationship improve over time or decline?
Sadly, my relationship with my parents declined notably when I became an adult, and has generally declined a bit more every passing year. Among other issues, they never wanted to evolve into a peer relationship from an authoritarian relationship, even forty years after I became an adult, and it's a continual source of friction.
It has definitely declined. As their mental capacity has waned greatly, it's really hard to have conversations with them because they no longer understand most of what I talk about. My mom can follow basic normal stuff, like talking about grandson and whatnot, but she can't follow along with complex things like me talking about what I do for work or political discussion or stocks and finances. My dad is very far gone and he remembers pretty much nothing from my childhood and can really only speak in sweeping generalities most of the time. It's like I've already lost my parents even though they are still here. :-) [Reply]
Originally Posted by mr. tegu:
Are you doing anything afterwards? Something that still makes it a special day where you take photos with each other and other family? Family gathering in some way? Etc?
She best be getting his name tatted on her ass [Reply]
Grew up in a divorced family. They declared joint custody so my sister and I were bouncing between Mom and Dad's house every 2 days or so. Mom and Dad would try subtle things to get us to hate the other parent. Wasn't very fun. Mom was ultra paranoid and Dad was just emotionally absent. I spent my teenage and young adult years thinking I'd do way better than them, that I'd be the change in the family.
Lo and behold, I end up breaking up with the mother of my child and moving out, just like my parents did. Thankfully we never got married and we're still friends, so there's some improvement, but the feeling of failure doesn't go away.
Now I think back and realize how tough it must've been on Mom and Dad, trying to navigate the divorce and still be good for my sister and I. They weren't perfect by any means, but they definitely tried, and we turned out okay.
Turns out, it's really hard being a good parent, and I'm still figuring it out as I go. Trying to put your all into being a good Dad, holding down a full time job, and trying to live a life of your own. I don't know how anyone does it. [Reply]
