Once every year, a great battle is fought , which determines the fate of mankind. This is not that battle. This is a far more important struggle where the titans of dip-shittery are sent forth by their tribes in a great contest to become KING OF THE DIPSHITS.
Lord Fisty, the Emperor of Chiefsplanet oversees this tournament. The great factions of this kingdom send their finest warriors in a winner takes all battle.
This Year's contest was won by a razor thing margin. Before saluting the winner, let us first give our thanks and praise to all of the other morons who set foot into the ring and gave it their all.
SweetDaddy hate very nearly landed a decisive blow and became champion, only to have his dreams ripped away at the last minute. His obnoxious , trollish style was formidable..his hatred for Alex infected every thread in which he posted much like AIDS or herpes and burned as hot. No one could post anything in any thread about any topic without Sweets deftly parrying the blow and thrusting his tiny e-peen , shattering the will of even the strongest Alexsexual. He vanquished the mighty warriors Tigger and Sandy, but alas, even his utter idiocy was not enough to become champion.
Other warriors also gave their lives on the battlefield only to be defeated. Threebag02 was one of these imbeciles who tried so hard to be a bigger dipshit than all of the others, but like he does in life..he once again failed in this effort as well only to fall back into obscurity. Tales of his life now, and his crusty lipped mumbling over some worn pokemon cards behind the man-brothel are whispered in dark corners.
TacoJohn's decapitation was sudden and very sad. The tinfoil helmet he was wearing could not withstand even a single blow in combat. Some had warned him of this flaw but he was too paranoid to listen to logic.
BEP, possibly man ...possibly woman..possibly some horrid mixture betwixt....came very close as well. No one knows why a New England Patroits fan come to a KC chiefs message board to discuss cooking and politics , but he/she has proven itself worthy on the field of combat.
JJDinosaurGuy, a moron and idiot of such magnitude..that he LITERALLY looks at Einstein, Newton, Hawking, and other great scientists and without any sense of self awareness or irony, tells them they are idiots....this great buffoon was also bested by our noble champion.
Even Rudy, the poor midget with tourette's syndrome and who is barely able to type a complete sentence was not able to overcome LoneIguana's ass hattery.
This brings us to the Grand Champion, the one True KING of the DIPSHITS:
LoneIguana...You are hereby crowned 2018 Dipshit of the year. Your drivel is so boorish and dumb that it spills over from DC into the lounge where you are known throughout the land as someone who is almost universally put on ignore or mocked. By merely posting in any thread, multiple people who have witnessed you being a dipshit in other threads will attack you to prevent further dipshittery from plaguing the land. You let your butthurt and soft liberal coddling flow through every post you make like some sort of semi retarded jedi. Literally no one likes you here. The amount of effort it must have taken to be this socially unaware and lacking of even basic common sense is truly mind boggling.
Congratulations, you have earned this. Your name shall be inscribed in the hall of dipshits, forever.
An official proclamation shall be made , and a statement shall be read marking this glorious achievement.
It is rather difficult to rise up amongst this vast sea of imbeciles to even be recognized as a truly worthy moron. And furthermore to actually win this coveted honor and take your place in the pantheon of greatness is something quite special.
We salute you, King of the Idiots 2018, whoever you may be.
The coronation shall commence when the ballots have been tabulated and the results are official...PGM, his Holiness, shall be conducting the polling and is doing a fine job of scouring this land for Champions.
