Originally Posted by lewdog:
So why did you have only 1 child if you don’t mind me asking?
Finances is not the only reason. Autism and some other disorders run on my wife’s side. Getting a normal child and not wanting to play the genetic lottery again was a bigger factor.
I’m an only child and have no regrets not having siblings.
I married an old gal that never could have kids. We were foster parents for several years and then were lucky enough to get the opportunity to adopt a newborn. Took her straight home from the hospital.
My daughter says she's glad she doesn't have siblings but I look at other families and see the difference in the way the kids are. Heving someone your own age to talk to within the house is beneficial. [Reply]
My point of view. I lost my dad when I was 24 and my mom when I was 33. I was never close with any aunts/uncles. Having 2 brothers gave me a sense of connection in the world. Just a feeling that I wasn't alone. I wasn't going through those losses alone. I have 2 kids and try to foster that relationship as much as I can.
Financial and genetic issues are totally valid reasons to stay with one though. [Reply]
I threw a spreadsheet together for my monthly budget, and it looks like my NW increases by about $2500 monthly between paying down loans and investing/saving. Not too shabby for a guy my age I guess? [Reply]
Originally Posted by lewdog:
So why did you have only 1 child if you don’t mind me asking?
Finances is not the only reason. Autism and some other disorders run on my wife’s side. Getting a normal child and not wanting to play the genetic lottery again was a bigger factor.
I’m an only child and have no regrets not having siblings.
Look, I don't have a super strong opinion on the kid thing, and frankly, your reasoning is more sounds than most decisions regarding children. Nonetheless, here is my unsolicited, unprofessional and almost certainly wrong opinion on the matter.
Virtually all of my assumptions regarding the decision points about having kids were anywhere from off base to straight wrong.
How much money it would actually take? Nope.
What we actually needed? Nope.
What the first few years would be like? Not really.
What changes I'd need to make at work? Nope.
How age would impact us? Nope.
How the second one would go? Nope.
We waited because I wanted to have all my shit together before we brought a life into it. Most likely it wouldn't have materially mattered after about grad school. It didn't take nearly as much money as I thought it would. We have a boy and a girl and we called it good. I don't know how it would have started earlier, maybe we'd have more, maybe we'd have quit at one. For all the planning and shit I wanted to do because it's an epic decision that involves another life that I couldn't live with myself if I fucked up, didn't really make any difference in the end. What that means to you, who knows?
I sit at home with my 2 kids being the 3rd (and youngest) kid myself. My brother was an accident and the reason my parents got married. He's the kind that does the bare minimum. He's satisfactory. From a pure horsepower perspective, his brain is better than mine (and I'm proud of mine). I don't know what truly winds his clock, but it isn't work, or success in any traditional form. He's not a mooch - he's self sufficient, but I don't know if he anything to retire on, or even if he has any capacity to deal with the unexpected. Whatever, not my problem. My cunt sister is the worst. The absolute worst. And here I am, the youngest, running the family business, and handling the trust after my parents pass.
I know that has dickall to do with my kids, but it has occurred to me that numbers might increase the probability of a more favorable outcome.
All that means nothing, particularly for your case, but that's life from my perspective. [/unsolicited, unprofessional and almost certainly wrong opinion on the matter]
Now, go forth and enjoy your child.
Originally Posted by Pointer19:
I threw a spreadsheet together for my monthly budget, and it looks like my NW increases by about $2500 monthly between paying down loans and investing/saving. Not too shabby for a guy my age I guess?
Excellent work. Sock that shit away. Cash always spends. [Reply]
Originally Posted by Pointer19:
I threw a spreadsheet together for my monthly budget, and it looks like my NW increases by about $2500 monthly between paying down loans and investing/saving. Not too shabby for a guy my age I guess?
Saving while you're young is ultra-powerful, because compounding is mankind's greatest weapon. [Reply]
Originally Posted by Rain Man:
Saving while you're young is ultra-powerful, because compounding is mankind's greatest weapon.
Indeed, our old buddy Albert Einstein is quoted to have said “Compound interest is the eighth wonder of the world. He who understands it, earns it … he who doesn’t … pays it.” [Reply]
I'll just say that I find it funny that many people mention having multiple kids so they have siblings to bond and get along with.
In my job I help discharge plan 1000+ people a year and have seen every social situation and aspect you can imagine. I'd say in about 20% of cases, siblings dislike each other and routinely fight over end of life and care issues for the parents that usually amounts to some sort of monetary issue such as keeping mom/dad alive because one of the kids lives off the parents. Or becoming the parents financial POA and burning through the parents money while the other siblings go to court to have such affairs stopped. Or many times arguing over who gets what upon death. It's pretty ugly and it's a very high percentage of siblings who do not get along and haven't gotten along for most of their lives.
So having another kid because you think a child needs a sibling to get along with, isn't always what it's made out to be. I am the sole decision maker regarding my parents and their will. There will be no fighting over these decisions when they are older or fighting over the inheritance. [Reply]
Yep. my brother and sister won't speak to each other anymore because they had a blow up upon my fathers death. And you know what it's over?? My brother accuses my sister of removing Dads suits from his closet to give to the church. Stupid!
Another positive about being an only child is that they tend to be more creative and thus more successful in life because they spend more time to themselves thinking about things.
Still worried about my daughter. When we're gone she'll have nobody unless she's married. [Reply]
Originally Posted by lewdog:
I'll just say that I find it funny that many people mention having multiple kids so they have siblings to bond and get along with.
In my job I help discharge plan 1000+ people a year and have seen every social situation and aspect you can imagine. I'd say in about 20% of cases, siblings dislike each other and routinely fight over end of life and care issues for the parents that usually amounts to some sort of monetary issue such as keeping mom/dad alive because one of the kids lives off the parents. Or becoming the parents financial POA and burning through the parents money while the other siblings go to court to have such affairs stopped. Or many times arguing over who gets what upon death. It's pretty ugly and it's a very high percentage of siblings who do not get along and haven't gotten along for most of their lives.
So having another kid because you think a child needs a sibling to get along with, isn't always what it's made out to be. I am the sole decision maker regarding my parents and their will. There will be no fighting over these decisions when they are older or fighting over the inheritance.
Youll note I didn’t mention any of that noise.
It’s way more than 20% if there are any assets involved. Kids fight. No question.
Problem is if you only have 1 and it’s the one that is living off the parents (you) that’s not a great outcome. That was my point. [Reply]
Originally Posted by Hog's Gone Fishin:
Yep. my brother and sister won't speak to each other anymore because they had a blow up upon my fathers death. And you know what it's over?? My brother accuses my sister of removing Dads suits from his closet to give to the church. Stupid!
Another positive about being an only child is that they tend to be more creative and thus more successful in life because they spend more time to themselves thinking about things.
Still worried about my daughter. When we're gone she'll have nobody unless she's married.
It's usually some pretty silly issues with siblings.
Your daughter is young! Give her time, she'll get married. [Reply]
Originally Posted by lewdog:
It's usually some pretty silly issues with siblings.
Your daughter is young! Give her time, she'll get married.
Having lost my father two weeks ago, we were very fortunate that we did not have any issues between us siblings (there were 3 of us). We all have an agreement prior to going through his stuff that, if more than one of us liked a item, we set that aside and come back to it later since it had a sentimental value to either 2 or all of us.
Once we got through the easy stuff, then we went back to that pile (which was like 7 items), and we were able to work it out without any issue at all. For example, there were 2 things that I liked, but my brother did as well (sister didn't care much for it), so I said to him that "Ok, you pick which one you want, and I'll take the other one." Easy. So we were fortunate we did not experience that at all. [Reply]
Originally Posted by Coach:
Having lost my father two weeks ago, we were very fortunate that we did not have any issues between us siblings (there were 3 of us). We all have an agreement prior to going through his stuff that, if more than one of us liked a item, we set that aside and come back to it later since it had a sentimental value to either 2 or all of us.
Once we got through the easy stuff, then we went back to that pile (which was like 7 items), and we were able to work it out without any issue at all. For example, there were 2 things that I liked, but my brother did as well (sister didn't care much for it), so I said to him that "Ok, you pick which one you want, and I'll take the other one." Easy. So we were fortunate we did not experience that at all.
Sorry to hear about your father's passing. I'm glad you guys were able to act like adults afterwards. That can be just as challenging as grieving for many. [Reply]
Originally Posted by lewdog:
I'll just say that I find it funny that many people mention having multiple kids so they have siblings to bond and get along with.
In my job I help discharge plan 1000+ people a year and have seen every social situation and aspect you can imagine. I'd say in about 20% of cases, siblings dislike each other and routinely fight over end of life and care issues for the parents that usually amounts to some sort of monetary issue such as keeping mom/dad alive because one of the kids lives off the parents. Or becoming the parents financial POA and burning through the parents money while the other siblings go to court to have such affairs stopped. Or many times arguing over who gets what upon death. It's pretty ugly and it's a very high percentage of siblings who do not get along and haven't gotten along for most of their lives.
So having another kid because you think a child needs a sibling to get along with, isn't always what it's made out to be. I am the sole decision maker regarding my parents and their will. There will be no fighting over these decisions when they are older or fighting over the inheritance.
I've kind of wondered what it would be like to have a brother. I have one sibling, a sister, and we get along well. However, we're very different in many ways so I wouldn't describe us as close. Amiable, but not close. Would I have been closer to a brother? Or would we have a more competitive relationship? I think maybe I'm glad I don't have a brother, but perhaps I'm underestimating the upside. [Reply]
ADM and Bunge had big days yesterday. Both of them went to the top of the previous high and stopped. We'll see what happens. I'm guessing it will set back some, but the fact that it went to the top with so much momentum is maaaaybe promising?
I was going to pull the chute on them since grain prices look to be coming under harvest pressure. Theoretically the earnings from the higher prices should hit the books in subsequent periods, but who knows if the market will actually respond to that. [Reply]