The book is a Bill Bryson-style travel memoir of me getting into stupid and sometimes dangerous situations driving from Los Angeles to Panama, including getting stuck on the wrong side of Nicaragua during the uprising of 2018. It also contains a ton of historical information on ancient Mesoamerica and some of the modern politics of Central America—basically, anything that piqued my interest in the year+ I spent researching. Also, I eat a lot of delicious food.
Anyone curious about this part of the world should get a lot out of the book as part of a hopefully funny, entertaining read. I hope you enjoy!
I better post this before I get banned for welching on my bet and posting in DC. If I'm banned and anyone wants to go for any part of the trip - PM flopnuts or BRC - they know me on twoplustwo.com and can contact me. More eyes and ears are always welcome. I've got one guy who wants to go - but he'd have to quit his job, so obviously nothing is guaranteed.
I just got back from a photo trip in Patagonia, where we drove a lot. I LOVE the region and South America in general. Never been to Central America but I've had some great trips in Mexico.
I have two jobs and I'm sick of both. I don't think the side job will last much longer, and the day job is about done for me. I probably need to stick it out until the end of year to get my bonus and pay off some 401(k) loans. But unless I get plugged into some interesting projects - I'm gone. I figure there has to be some advantage to dying alone with no kids. This would be the adventure of my life. I'd try to live-blog it as much as possible.
Our photo tour guide from the Patagonia trip is planning a 20-day partial boat tour next May that he's calling "an expedition". We'll get into some fjords in Southern Chile that hardly any one's ever been to - much less landscape photographers. So that's my parameter - be in Patagonia by mid-May.
I've done some cursory research, and it seems pretty doable.
You have to ship your car across the Darien Gap - which is a PITA.
Very rough plan is to drive to Cabo, then take the ferry from La Paz to Mazatlan. Then head South. I'd probably zip across El Salvador and Honduras as fast as possible, enjoy myself in Costa Rica and maybe Nicaragua. I've been to Peru, Columbia, Chile and Argentina and know they're pretty safe. I feel like I'd want to avoid driving in Brazil, Venezuela (govt might seize my car) or the Guyanas. Paraguay, Uruguay, Bolivia should be fine. I know not to drive at night in sketchy places and find secure parking for my car.
I plan to mostly camp and stay in hostels. I can sleep in my car in a pinch. Maybe splurge on a hotel when I want some extra security for my car. On the way back I may either sell my car or ship to LA or Florida from Colombia.
Prerequisites:
Must learn reasonable conversational Spanish. I know a lot of words but no sentences, etc. I am using this online thing called duolingo. Looking for an an immersion program in LA. There are some Spanish classes by me but they don't start right away.
Lose at least 30 lbs. At 257 - I'm 40-50 lbs over-weight right now. It's just no fun in a lot of ways. I won't enjoy myself unless I get below 230. Plus I hope to get laid a decent amount with my fun story and mad Spanish skillz.
Maximize my social media footprint so hopefully the blog picks up some traction and has a lot of viewers. IE - finish photo website (pretending to sell photos), get active in 500px (2p2 for photographers), start blogging, get active on forum for people doing these driving adventures (forget the name), FJ Cruiser forums, Instagram.
Figure out what modifications if any I want to do to my car. A flat roof rack with a pop-up tent seems really cool. But as I'm going to be jobless maybe I should think about limiting spending. Or maybe some kind of hidden compartment to hide camera gear/computers/etc?
Research, get permits, visas etc. ahead of time.
Big question is whether or not to take my FJ Cruiser or buy an Outback or something for $5k:
Pros:
Great car, nice and high so I can see things developing.
Built like a tank to protect me in a crash.
Can get into fun places like camping on the beach.
I pan to blog the whole thing - so me and my FJ is a fun angle. Me and my Camry lacks the same zing.
Cons:
Everyone says try not to draw attention to yourself. Big ginger beard with CA plates in that car does the exact opposite. (I'm hoping people will think I'm ex-military or something lol)
I am stupidly emotionally attached to my car, and have put some customizations into it. It's got 100k miles so it could easily last me another 10 years. I really would have a hard time selling it at the end, even though supposedly you can get good money in Brazil. Also I know there's a very real probability it doesn't come back from being totaled, or stolen. I have to be ok with that.
15 miles to the gallon/15 gallon tank (yeah wtf) - but I figure I can carry extra tanks.
Any thoughts or advice is mucho appreciated.
I am fine with the idea that I could have everything stolen and have to limp back with my tail between my legs. You don't have an adventure w/o risking something. If I get killed I had a good life. My biggest fears are getting kidnapped or paralyzed in a car wreck. Both seem fairly low probability. [Reply]
Man alive, its such a foodie paradise down there, I continue to be amazed at how awesome everything looks... and cheap! $1.75 for that sandwich, and McDonalds wants $3 and change for a ****ing Big Mac? :-)
Also continue to be impressed with the architectural and natural beauty down there, Chautla Hacienda and surrounding evirons in particular is very cool
The woman at the table in the white tank top, oh my Lord :-), she is a wet dream come to life [Reply]
Man I was starting to think you decided to head home. Glad you’re continuing your journey. Your pictures and stories remind me so much of why I’ve become so obsessed with travel. Look forward to reading about Oaxaca. [Reply]
You would think with all that available maid service literally everywhere, this wouldn't be the case.
In all seriousness, this is very cool Suzzer. I've always wanted to do something like this. You're living the dream man. Stay safe and pleasant journeys! [Reply]
Thanks a lot guys - it's cool to know you're appreciating the blog.
And yeah Mexico is pretty dusty. But it's still great for a lot of reasons - wonderful people, tons of culture and ancient ruins, amazing food, everything is dirt cheap. I'm camping in paradise right now, at a place with perfect weather and amazing food, for $5/night.
I always really enjoy these updates, your trip would make a great multi-part special on the Travel Channel
I'd try a cricket, as long as it was well spiced up to kill the bug flavor
Whats on the right side of the breakfast plate with your frijoles and huevos, is that like tortilla strips with some kind of tomato sauce and cheese? [Reply]
