Originally Posted by Coochie liquor:
Receptionist : Mr Berry, you have a call from a Bert Peach on line one
Andrew Berry : hmmm sounds kinda familiar. Patch him through
Brent : Hey Andy, been a minute since we talked, but I’m a GM for a NFL team, and I understand Myles Garrett might be available for a trade this offseason. Is this true?
Andrew Berry: It’s definitely in the realm of possibilities. Which team did you say you are GM of again?
Burnt : That’s not important right now, but I’m calling to make you one helluva offer for Mr Garrett
Andrew Berry : hmmm ok well let’s hear this amazing offer
Bert : you might wanna be sitting down Andy cuz this offer is gonna knock you off your feet. I did a little basic math, and this is what I came up with. Mr Garrett while a decent player, has zero rings. Yes zero, like Josh Allen, Joe Burrow, Lamar Jackson to name a few. Andy, here’s what we’re willing to offer, it’s a once in a lifetime opportunity. Andy were offering you 2 (probably 3) time SB champion Skyy Moore, 2 (possibly 3) time SB champion Nazeeh Johnson, and 1 (possibly 2) time SB champion Carson Wentz for Myles “zero rings” Garrett! Now quick math tells me that after the Super Bowl these players will have a total of 8 rings between them. Now Andy I’m not sure if you’re familiar with a retired player named Tom Brady, but bandwagon fans have been calling him the goat, because he’s the only player with 7 rings. What we’re willing to part with is one more ring than he has. Now imagine trotting out these 3 players on opening night 2025. How dominant will the Browns be with more rings than any franchise has ever won? Imagine the so called goat wrapped up in 3 different players. That’s a home run of a deal. Now I’m sure you’re flabbergasted at such an incredible deal, so to make it a little more fair to us, we just request you pay a large part of this ringless players guaranteed money. I’m sure you don’t want to feel as if you fleeced another GM, so that would definitely get us closer to even on this remarkable once in a lifetime opportunity.
Andrew Berry : well it certainly sounds like an incredible offer. 8 championship rings vs zero seems like it’s too good to be true. Why would you make such a lopsided offer that doesn’t favor you? What’s the catch?
Bart : that’s why we’re just asking you to pay out the guaranteed portion of his contract. We feel it at least gets it close enough that we don’t feel it was a bad deal for us. So Andy, what do you think? If you’re not interested it’s not a big deal. The Steelers have shown some inte…
Andrew Berry : No, no. There’s no need to shop these players around. Send over the contract I’ll look it over, and if it’s laid out as you claim, I’ll get it signed, and sent back to you so we can announce this deal the minute the trade window opens. Browns fans are going to be ecstatic with all these riches! Might even earn me an executive of the year award!
Thank you Mr Bleach, send that contract over asap and let’s get this done!
Originally Posted by Red Dawg:
Only a team with a cheap QB can afford him. Denver gonna sell the farm.
I'm betting on them as well, Payton wants to take this division from us so badly. He's not going to, but he'll try everything in his power to make it happen.
I expect to see a Saints style load up while Nix is on his rookie deal. Then, he'll keep kicking the can down the road until he flames out and moves on to his next con, leaving the Donks with 120 million in dead cap space and zero draft picks.
Chiefs dont need Garrett...they already have a winning system in place. Keep the picks and continue to build balanced teams. Let teams that dont have Mahomes sell the farm... [Reply]