The book is a Bill Bryson-style travel memoir of me getting into stupid and sometimes dangerous situations driving from Los Angeles to Panama, including getting stuck on the wrong side of Nicaragua during the uprising of 2018. It also contains a ton of historical information on ancient Mesoamerica and some of the modern politics of Central America—basically, anything that piqued my interest in the year+ I spent researching. Also, I eat a lot of delicious food.
Anyone curious about this part of the world should get a lot out of the book as part of a hopefully funny, entertaining read. I hope you enjoy!
I better post this before I get banned for welching on my bet and posting in DC. If I'm banned and anyone wants to go for any part of the trip - PM flopnuts or BRC - they know me on twoplustwo.com and can contact me. More eyes and ears are always welcome. I've got one guy who wants to go - but he'd have to quit his job, so obviously nothing is guaranteed.
I just got back from a photo trip in Patagonia, where we drove a lot. I LOVE the region and South America in general. Never been to Central America but I've had some great trips in Mexico.
I have two jobs and I'm sick of both. I don't think the side job will last much longer, and the day job is about done for me. I probably need to stick it out until the end of year to get my bonus and pay off some 401(k) loans. But unless I get plugged into some interesting projects - I'm gone. I figure there has to be some advantage to dying alone with no kids. This would be the adventure of my life. I'd try to live-blog it as much as possible.
Our photo tour guide from the Patagonia trip is planning a 20-day partial boat tour next May that he's calling "an expedition". We'll get into some fjords in Southern Chile that hardly any one's ever been to - much less landscape photographers. So that's my parameter - be in Patagonia by mid-May.
I've done some cursory research, and it seems pretty doable.
You have to ship your car across the Darien Gap - which is a PITA.
Very rough plan is to drive to Cabo, then take the ferry from La Paz to Mazatlan. Then head South. I'd probably zip across El Salvador and Honduras as fast as possible, enjoy myself in Costa Rica and maybe Nicaragua. I've been to Peru, Columbia, Chile and Argentina and know they're pretty safe. I feel like I'd want to avoid driving in Brazil, Venezuela (govt might seize my car) or the Guyanas. Paraguay, Uruguay, Bolivia should be fine. I know not to drive at night in sketchy places and find secure parking for my car.
I plan to mostly camp and stay in hostels. I can sleep in my car in a pinch. Maybe splurge on a hotel when I want some extra security for my car. On the way back I may either sell my car or ship to LA or Florida from Colombia.
Prerequisites:
Must learn reasonable conversational Spanish. I know a lot of words but no sentences, etc. I am using this online thing called duolingo. Looking for an an immersion program in LA. There are some Spanish classes by me but they don't start right away.
Lose at least 30 lbs. At 257 - I'm 40-50 lbs over-weight right now. It's just no fun in a lot of ways. I won't enjoy myself unless I get below 230. Plus I hope to get laid a decent amount with my fun story and mad Spanish skillz.
Maximize my social media footprint so hopefully the blog picks up some traction and has a lot of viewers. IE - finish photo website (pretending to sell photos), get active in 500px (2p2 for photographers), start blogging, get active on forum for people doing these driving adventures (forget the name), FJ Cruiser forums, Instagram.
Figure out what modifications if any I want to do to my car. A flat roof rack with a pop-up tent seems really cool. But as I'm going to be jobless maybe I should think about limiting spending. Or maybe some kind of hidden compartment to hide camera gear/computers/etc?
Research, get permits, visas etc. ahead of time.
Big question is whether or not to take my FJ Cruiser or buy an Outback or something for $5k:
Pros:
Great car, nice and high so I can see things developing.
Built like a tank to protect me in a crash.
Can get into fun places like camping on the beach.
I pan to blog the whole thing - so me and my FJ is a fun angle. Me and my Camry lacks the same zing.
Cons:
Everyone says try not to draw attention to yourself. Big ginger beard with CA plates in that car does the exact opposite. (I'm hoping people will think I'm ex-military or something lol)
I am stupidly emotionally attached to my car, and have put some customizations into it. It's got 100k miles so it could easily last me another 10 years. I really would have a hard time selling it at the end, even though supposedly you can get good money in Brazil. Also I know there's a very real probability it doesn't come back from being totaled, or stolen. I have to be ok with that.
15 miles to the gallon/15 gallon tank (yeah wtf) - but I figure I can carry extra tanks.
Any thoughts or advice is mucho appreciated.
I am fine with the idea that I could have everything stolen and have to limp back with my tail between my legs. You don't have an adventure w/o risking something. If I get killed I had a good life. My biggest fears are getting kidnapped or paralyzed in a car wreck. Both seem fairly low probability. [Reply]
Thanks but too late unfortunately. I'm in San Miguel de Allende now. I took the ferry from La Paz to Mazatlan a couple nights ago. I spent one night on a boat (Crazy Collin from the blog) in Puerto Vallarta. Next week I start a 5-day spanish immersion class in Puebla. [Reply]
I've yet to see any food that I wouldnt totally destroy, and the natural beauty down there is really something to see... I'd like to let a coastal Mexican come live in my place for 6 months a year, and I'll take his place
Its too bad about the that crumbling dream home, looks like it had real potential at one point [Reply]
Originally Posted by suzzer99:
Thanks but too late unfortunately. I'm in San Miguel de Allende now. I took the ferry from La Paz to Mazatlan a couple nights ago. I spent one night on a boat (Crazy Collin from the blog) in Puerto Vallarta. Next week I start a 5-day spanish immersion class in Puebla.
Originally Posted by Easy 6:
I've yet to see any food that I wouldnt totally destroy, and the natural beauty down there is really something to see... I'd like to let a coastal Mexican come live in my place for 6 months a year, and I'll take his place
Its too bad about the that crumbling dream home, looks like it had real potential at one point
You can buy (or infinitely lease technically I think) a nice plot of land in most of these places for like $15k. Some places are sketchier than others about getting the rug pulled out from under you though. [Reply]
Food looks great and I don't even like fish. Just read your latest blog, looks like you're enjoying yourself and making some memories.:-) Kudos for doing what 99% of us aging bastards only talk about. [Reply]
Not taking picks of the potential cartel guys, and getting the hell outta that hostel both sound like wise decisions
I would've had to get out and throw a line into that little stream outside of Tepic, very picturesque
More crazy good looking food there with the giant bowl of ceviche,and particularly that massive chunk of Chamorro de Adobado :-)... the fajitas I made last night might as well be dogshit in a flour shell compared to that
Enjoyable read, and eye candy... keep up the good work! [Reply]
One of the 3 guys on motorcycle that I was supposed to meet up with in Puebla right about now, somehow skidded off the road and into a ditch at 60mph and died. This is not my old friend from KC, but his best friend apparently. I knew him a little as I was working with him on their website. My friend said he died in his arms while they were waiting for the ambulance. (Please don't post anything on their blog or mine or anything yet.)
This happened Friday, just a few hours into Mexico on a smooth patch of highway. These guys have driven their bikes all over Southeast Asia and live in Guam where I'm sure there are all manner of crazy roads. So they weren't bike novices or anything.
And that's pretty much all I know. They're in Zacatecas right now dealing with all that. My friend had to call his friend's family the next day. I can't imagine how awful that must have been.
My trip will go on but I'm devastated thinking about what they're going through. I'm not feeling very adventurous at the moment. [Reply]
One of the 3 guys on motorcycle that I was supposed to meet up with in Puebla right about now, somehow skidded off the road and into a ditch at 60mph and died. This is not my old friend from KC, but his best friend apparently. I knew him a little as I was working with him on their website. My friend said he died in his arms while they were waiting for the ambulance. (Please don't post anything on their blog or mine or anything yet.)
This happened Friday, just a few hours into Mexico on a smooth patch of highway. These guys have driven their bikes all over Southeast Asia and live in Guam where I'm sure there are all manner of crazy roads. So they weren't bike novices or anything.
And that's pretty much all I know. They're in Zacatecas right now dealing with all that. My friend had to call his friend's family the next day. I can't imagine how awful that must have been.
My trip will go on but I'm devastated thinking about what they're going through. I'm not feeling very adventurous at the moment.
