According to "It's A Wonderful Life", every time a bell rings, an angel gets their wings. In a similar fashion, every time I open this thread, a brain cell dies. And I didn't have that many to begin with, so I can't spare them. But I can't help myself. It's like watching a train wreck, if the engineer had drank a gallon of antifreeze and set himself on fire and then crashed the train into an AIDS tree. It's fascinating watching you bounce from:
-"woe is me" 40-year-old-virgin nutless wimpery, to
-total asshole, treats-women-like-sperm-receptacles douchebaggery of the highest proportions, to
-closet homo who needs to come out.
Your problem is that all three of those need different things. The first part of you needs a girlfriend you can worship and buy things for and do things with and "make love to". The second part of you needs a total slut who you can just "have sex with". And the third part of you needs a guy with a big schlong, a set of furry handcuffs and a Gimp-style rubber-ball mouth-gag. If you would just make up your mind as to which one of those is the real you, then you'd know which of the three to target your attentions on. The reason it's been a futile endeavor for you is because you haven't focused on what exactly you need. Pick one. Good girl, bad slut, or Rob Halford from Judas Priest. Pick on, and then go f**king get it already. [Reply]
Originally Posted by JD10367:
According to "It's A Wonderful Life", every time a bell rings, an angel gets their wings. In a similar fashion, every time I open this thread, a brain cell dies. And I didn't have that many to begin with, so I can't spare them. But I can't help myself. It's like watching a train wreck, if the engineer had drank a gallon of antifreeze and set himself on fire and then crashed the train into an AIDS tree. It's fascinating watching you bounce from:
-"woe is me" 40-year-old-virgin nutless wimpery, to
-total asshole, treats-women-like-sperm-receptacles douchebaggery of the highest proportions, to
-closet homo who needs to come out.
Your problem is that all three of those need different things. The first part of you needs a girlfriend you can worship and buy things for and do things with and "make love to". The second part of you needs a total slut who you can just "have sex with". And the third part of you needs a guy with a big schlong, a set of furry handcuffs and a Gimp-style rubber-ball mouth-gag. If you would just make up your mind as to which one of those is the real you, then you'd know which of the three to target your attentions on. The reason it's been a futile endeavor for you is because you haven't focused on what exactly you need. Pick one. Good girl, bad slut, or Rob Halford from Judas Priest. Pick on, and then go f**king get it already.
Interesting analysis, but I'm none of those things.
I'm just a nice guy who secretly talks about girls like an asshole on the internet. In person I'm afraid to even drop an f-bomb...unless they do it first. :-) [Reply]
Originally Posted by GoChiefs:
Interesting analysis, but I'm none of those things.
I'm just a nice guy who secretly talks about girls like an asshole on the internet. In person I'm afraid to even drop an f-bomb...unless they do it first. :-)
My god, CE, are you STILL looking for a girl who won't run from you? [Reply]
Originally Posted by Skip Towne:
My god, CE, are you STILL looking for a girl who won't run from you?
Pretty much. I would be shocked if this one doesn't stick to me like glue, though. She's very lonely and I live really close. Hanging out will be like picking up milk. [Reply]
Originally Posted by GoChiefs:
Interesting analysis, but I'm none of those things.
I'm just a nice guy who secretly talks about girls like an asshole on the internet. In person I'm afraid to even drop an f-bomb...unless they do it first. :-)
As I've said before, I think that's part of your problem. Nothing is secret on the Internet. I think the chicks are Googling you and finding the stuff you post here.
And, by the way, I'm not sure anyone's ever told you this but.... "talking about girls like an asshole", unless you're either 12 or a total misogynistic Neanderthal f**ktard, really doesn't impress anyone. Except for, respectively, other 12-year-olds or other total misogynistic Neanderthal f**ktards. In any case, it won't help you get laid. At all. Ever.
It's not as complicated as you make it. As has been said:
1.) Be yourself. If you're shy, be shy. If you're a nerd, be a nerd. If you're ambiguously metrosexual, well... you get the point. Don't act like something you're not. She's gonna find out anyway. They always do. Unless you're, like, Dexter, 'cause he can hide that serial-killer thing pretty good. But most of us aren't that good at it.
2.) Don't be desperate for sex. They can smell it like cheap cologne. I'm not saying you don't have to WANT sex; don't be asexual, or they'll think you're weird. But don't give off the vibe that it's all you're looking for. In other words...
3.) Talk to them like they're just people, and you're not attempting to get laid. Act like the fact that they have boobies and a vajayjay is inconsequential. Just try to be friendly, and seem like a nice guy. Because most men are trying to get laid, whereas most women are actually looking for a nice guy, someone who won't treat them like shit, someone who will maybe appreciate them, you know... chick stuff. Frankly, women can replace us with a cucumber or a vibrator for the most part, and if it's just casual sex they want, well, women know they can get that any time, anywhere. They're not going on dates for that; they're going on dates to see if they can find someone to f**k who might ALSO call them back the next day, and want to do some non-f**king stuff like just go for dinner or see a movie or something. I know, it's weird. [Reply]
Originally Posted by GoChiefs:
Interesting analysis, but I'm none of those things.
I'm just a nice guy who secretly talks about girls like an asshole on the internet. In person I'm afraid to even drop an f-bomb...unless they do it first. :-)
Yes I was very surprised. You were absolutely nothing like your internet persona. Very cool guy. :-)
I dont think you should have any probs getting whatever girl you decide on. [Reply]
Originally Posted by JD10367:
As I've said before, I think that's part of your problem. Nothing is secret on the Internet. I think the chicks are Googling you and finding the stuff you post here.
Are you fucking retarded?
If that was the case none of them would even go out with me to begin with.
Originally Posted by :
In any case, it won't help you get laid. At all. Ever.
Seriously, are you fucking retarded?
Nothing I post on this website is going to help me get laid. At all. Ever.
Since I don't treat girls like cum dumpsters in real life....I suggest you remove your head from your ass. [Reply]