Handing the 16 year old at the box office your mother's money isn't the same as paying your own way.

You don't (read: never) have a job.
You live in your mother's basement that she pays for....
You use utilities that your mother pays for....
You eat food that she pays for....
You wear clothes that she pays for....
You drive a car that she paid for....
You have car insurance that she pays for....
You use gas that she pays for....
You type on a computer that she paid for....
You text on a phone that she pays for....
And yet you you expect us to believe that you pay for your movie tickets and dates?

The reason why you get dropped in the middle of a date is because women smell that momma's leech stench coming off of you. It is overpowering and you can't hide it. Until you grow up, welcome to the rest of your life.
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Fat Elvis knows everything about my life apparently...
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Trust me... I'm spot on.
Her back hurting was an excuse for you to get your big ass arm off of her 5 foot frame. No matter when she left... she wasn't feeling your overbearing demeanor.

you really need to hit on chicks in person instead of meeting them over the net. You need some face to face success.
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I put my arm on her for five minutes and I'm overbearing.

Crock of shit.

And it's still hypocritical given the advice I received the last time I was in a movie theater with a girl.
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Not hypocritical from me...
1st off... movie = date.
Date = relationship/get to know someone.

If you want to hit it... you gotta stop doing these get to know people dates.

Safe dates for booty calls.
clubbin or over someone's house to watch a movie or drinkin with someone. That's about it.

These freakin dinner dates 9 times outta 10 isn't going to get you any ass.
In the long run maybe but that's too much effort for someone that just wants some ass.
You'll disregard my logic or ideology but you're the one keep doing dumb stuff that doesn't add up or make sense.
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Eh, I went "clubbing" last week with a girl.

No ass.

And I got closer to getting ass after a dinner date with a girl....so it's a crapshoot either way.
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Do you bathe regularly? Just covering all the bases.
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And don't tell her how you spent all last weekend making egg salad.
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I don't think it is just women..... FYI.
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GoChiefs:

Buy a Corvette. Take a girl out in said Corvette. You will get laid that night.
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His mom can't afford a Corvette.
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Feel free to correct me where I am mistaken. For starters, name your job. Secondly, where do you live?

Put those two together and it doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize that the rest just kind of falls in place.
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Yeah and make sure you wear your collar popped and the aviator shades all through the date, if your going with the Vette advice you might as well go full on douchebag.
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Wow. Really? Are you sure? There are some really good deals out there on good condition used models.
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Douchebag or not, most chicks dig 'em. And that's what makes the world go 'round.
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