Originally Posted by JD10367:
I've only been here a short time, and I'm pretty sure the only thing going DOWN is your penis. Again. As in, "drooping with sadness at another unfulfilled night".
Here's a tip: right before a date, whack off. And then whack off again. And then do it a third time. That way, your kiwis will be empty and you'll feel less of a need to be a manipulative sex-obsessed f**ktard on the date, and instead will actually do all sorts of weird shit, like "talk to her as if she's a real person and not a sperm receptacle" and "try to build a rapport and connection with her". I know. It's a wild idea. Give it a whirl sometime, though.
Unless, of course, you're just looking to get your pink flashlight tugged on, and you're not looking for an actual girlfriend. If that's the case, just go to a hooker once a month. The amount of time and money you seem to spend on fruitless dates, it would probably be cheaper.
Why should he care how much it costs? It doesn't cost him anything. His mom pays for it. Seriously. [Reply]
Well, I just got dumped in the middle of a date for the first time. Un-fucking-believable.
I meet this girl at the movie theater - that's all I wanted, some company for the moves, and something else, too, heh heh - and she's totally smoking. Drop-dead hottie. Only five feet tall, too, which I love. Anyway, she smiles and says "You look just like your pic!" Yes, bitch, I'm hot and you love it. High five.
So we go into the move theater and have a nice enough chat. It's not awkward, I put my arm around her and the movie begins. We laugh and talk about the movie.
About an hour into it, she says she's going out to get a drink and go to the bathroom. Cool, fine.
10 minutes pass....no girl.
20 minutes pass...no girl.
The movie ends...where the fuck is she?
I go out into the lobby, she's nowhere to be found. Text her "u leave??" No reply, I leave, pissed the fuck off, what the fuck just happened, what a bitch, she has no soul. OMFG. I call Simply Red and whine to him for awhile. He's my intellectual whore.
Anyway, what the fuck. Women can be total cunts. Was she married? Was she using me for a free movie? Who the fuck knows.
Time for some fucking ice cream.
And "surrogates" sucked ass. But in a good way. [Reply]