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Hall of Classics>The Declaration Of Independence, MO - The People vs. Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel
Hammock Parties 02:57 AM 07-21-2012
The Declaration Of Independence, MO


The People vs. Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel


When in the course of football events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the fandom bands which have connected them with a Quarterback, and to assume among the Powers of the NFL, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Football and of the NFL's Goodell entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all Quarterbacks are not created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain Unalienable Talents, that among these are Arm Strength, Accuracy and the Pursuit of Championships.

That to secure these talents, Quarterbacks are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the Consent of the Fanbase, That whenever any Form of Quarterback becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Quarterbacks, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Attendance At Arrowhead and Hope For A Championship.

Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Quarterbacks Long Established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably The Same Offense evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to Throw Off Such Quarterbacks, and to provide new Guards (however, neither left nor right) for their Future Rooting Interests.

Such has been the patient sufferance of these Chiefs Fans; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Offense. The history of the present Quarterback is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an Absolute Run-First Offense over the State of Missouri.

To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.


Cassel 3:16


Spoiler!


Playoff Teams Beat Cassel At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Winning Teams Beat Cassel At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Cassel Lacks Deep Passing Ability


Spoiler!


Cassel Makes Offensive Linemen Worse


Spoiler!


Cassel Struggles Against Good Defenses At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Cassel Struggles Against Elite Quarterbacks At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!



We, therefore, the Representatives of the United States of Chiefs Fans, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme GM of Arrowhead for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Chiefs, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Chiefs fans are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent of Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel.

That they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the Patriot Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of New England, is and ought to be totally dissolved.

And that as Free and Independent Chiefs Fans, they have full Power to levy Boos, conclude Peace, contract Alliances with Dwayne Bowe, establish Commerce with Top Five Picks, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent Fans may of right do.

And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Playoff Fortunes and our Sacred Fandom.


SIGN BELOW


This post made possible by SNR, Coogs and The Gang Of 14.
Statistics compiled by ESPN, PFF and PFR

Dedicated to 'Hamas' Jenkins, our Patrick Henry, who said "Give Me Sanchez, Or Give Me Death."









For further details, please review The Pioli Facts.

The Declaration has been updated with statistics from 2012 and FINALIZED. Remove Matt Cassel from Kansas City. FOREVER.

[Reply]
1ChiefsDan 12:04 PM 10-29-2012
Originally Posted by denverdanchiefsfan:
The fight isn't over until he sits on the bench after he is cleared to play. I still don't trust the ****ers.
Originally Posted by Cassel's Reckoning:
It's over, man.

Cassel will not be our starting QB next season.

You were saying.....
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 08:52 PM 10-31-2012
Ok peanut gallery, it's time for a reckoning.

Good throw by Matt, or underthrow to Dexter that Bowe supermans?


[Reply]
Mr. Flopnuts 08:56 PM 10-31-2012
:-) You make it so fucking obvious...
[Reply]
hometeam 09:09 PM 10-31-2012
Originally Posted by Cassel's Reckoning:
Ok peanut gallery, it's time for a reckoning.

Good throw by Matt, or underthrow to Dexter that Bowe supermans?

:-) How can someone this bad play.. let alone start, in the NFL.
[Reply]
Munson 09:14 PM 10-31-2012
Originally Posted by Cassel's Reckoning:
Ok peanut gallery, it's time for a reckoning.

Good throw by Matt, or underthrow to Dexter that Bowe supermans?
Notice how Bowe catches it in stride downfield? That's a sure sign that it wasn't meant for him.
[Reply]
Mr. Flopnuts 09:27 PM 10-31-2012
Cassel was looking right at McCluster when he threw that ball.
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 09:37 PM 10-31-2012
Originally Posted by Mr. Flopnuts:
Cassel was looking right at McCluster when he threw that ball.
Suck it, Dex. :-)
[Reply]
Chiefspants 09:57 PM 10-31-2012
Originally Posted by Cassel's Reckoning:
Suck it, Dex. :-)
Is there any way we could see Bowe's entire route on that play? It would be interesting if he took matters into his own hands and leapt in front of Dexter's route. This likely didn't happen, but it would be interesting to look at nonetheless.
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 09:59 PM 10-31-2012
He was definitely running an in cut.
[Reply]
Chiefspants 10:07 PM 10-31-2012
Originally Posted by Cassel's Reckoning:
He was definitely running an in cut.
God, it's amazing just how underthrown Dex was on that play, two receivers shouldn't end up that close to each other on the field.
[Reply]
Easy 6 10:50 PM 10-31-2012
This was a truly, in a word thats so over used as to have lost its meaning, EPIC thread, HOF or kiss my ass.

But its far beyond cassel now, his first benching was all thats necessary to clear my chart and forget that he's even an option... moving on.

The REAL target is much bigger and clearer.
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 10:50 PM 10-31-2012
Just saw an awesome stat on PFF.

Cassel is ranked DEAD LAST in quarterback rating on play action passes.
[Reply]
KCrockaholic 11:00 PM 10-31-2012
Originally Posted by Cassel's Reckoning:
Just saw an awesome stat on PFF.

Cassel is ranked DEAD LAST in quarterback rating on play action passes.
Only completes 46% of all play action passes. Correct?
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 11:05 PM 10-31-2012
Originally Posted by KCrockaholic:
Only completes 46% of all play action passes. Correct?
yeeeeup
[Reply]
KCrockaholic 11:05 PM 10-31-2012
Speaking of PFF. I wish, so fucking bad, there was a site like that for college football. A site more in depth than just TD-INTs-Yards.
[Reply]
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