Not having anyone around all weekend is weird.

You show signs of depression and possibly suicide risk. Seek help and by help I mean pray.

Why did the duck cross the road?

To fuck a chicken.

This just in: Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks.

Very original.

Jackass I just put my dog down because of cancer and the wife left for the weekend and took her dog with her for her sister's wedding shower so I was left alone for the weekend. It was weird not not having to do anything but what I wanted to do. Also I don't believe in organized religion. After I put my dog down the all mighty whoever does not want to hear from me. Besides suicide is the cowards way out. So go away you Jesus freak.

lolz

Cheap Tony's Pizzas > Papa Johns

Grown men should not type "kay" instead of "ok" on business instant messenger.

No one over the age of 13 should.

The last month before football starts fucking blows and is boring as shit.

Preseason games are Friday.

I need to recruit more booty calls.

It doesn't matter how many times I have opened a container of biscuits like these.


It gets me every stinking time.

Maybe it's the anticipation? I know they are going to 'pop' open.

I have worked so fucking hard for the last 2 years trying to break into this sales career. And it's fucking tough. Commission only can suck a big, fat, cock. Through all of this struggle, I have finally found a modicum of success. I will not ever do this again, probably, however I am now. In the last 6 weeks I have made 19k. That is why I got into this fucking business! Finally!

I just cannot express how elated I am to be able to make this kind of scratch. Not trying to brag, just freaking the fuck out a little bit. I've made pretty good money before, but not like this. And the money season isn't even here yet! That starts in the middle of next month. This is fucking nuts!