.. That's right. F*ck you Golf. You piece of Shiot-sucking game. **** you again, I say.
And F8ck the goat sodomizing bastard Scotsman who invented the miserable game. If I see that (pinkie pulling) mother f@cker in heaven I'll beat his f@cking brains in. Course if he invented golf, that means he played golf and every golfer by definition is cheater and a liar therefore he's probably in hell... WHERE HE ****ING BELONGS!! for inventing this terminally f@cked, terminally frustrating, hypertension causing game.
**** HIM!!!!
Oh and to my golf clubs... **** YOU you dirty no good (pinkie pullers) See if I ever take you useless bastards anywhere nice again. You all deserve to be melted down and turned into f*cking bicycle spokes. That's right!!! Do you hear me? F*cking bicycle spokes!!!!! You bastards let me down today. You embarrassed me. Absolutely embarrassed me.
Don't look at me like that. You MF'ers did all that shiot on purpose and you ****ling know it!!! Especially you 5-Iron. Don't act like you didn't deserve that 75 foot helicopter ride down the cart path after you intentionally scuffed that tee shot on the par 3. You just sat there laughing as my ball skipped like a f@cking flat rock before it settled to the bottom of that lake. You're lucky I didn't throw you in front of a speeding semi-trailer. So F@CK YOU!!!!!
Don't look so upset 7-Iron. You have nothing to be ashamed of. You did your job. From 140 - 160 you were dead on. I want you to know I'm not taking this out on you. You still have a home.
As for you pitching wedge. Just what f*cking good are you? You think it's funny? Huh? Do ya? You little SOB. Don't make me come over there and bash you into the ground again you useless hunk of f*cking pot metal. Smacking balls over the green today. Just to p!ss me off. WTF did I ever do to you? I bought you. Put a f@cking roof over your head. Clean you religiously. Keep the dirt and grime off you. Give you a nice cover so you don't get hurt by the other clubs when bouncing around in the cart and cause a dent. This is how you repay my kindness? By blasting shots OVER the f*cking green from 20, 30, 40, 15 yards away? Listen real close mother f*cking pitching wedge. If you ever, ever pull a stunt like that again I will get the hacksaw out and slice you up like a Thanksgiving turkey. But I'll do it slow. Real f*cking slow. And I'll video tape the whole mother f*cking thing. Yep. And I'll show it to all the other clubs in the bag. Just to let them know I' will not tolerate this type of play.
DO YOU F*CKING HEAR ME???????
I hope so because if this ever happens again, I will encase you mother f*ckers in concrete and sink you to the bottom of the mother f*cking ocean. The Feds will find Hoffa before they'll find you f*ckers.
Originally Posted by Stinger:
That is what I love about golf I can't for the life of me remember the name of the person my wife introduce me to 3 hours ago. But if you say a course that I only played once 6 years ago I will give you a shot by shot detail with the description of every hole. :-)
This game has me. I started playing the 3rd week in May of this year. Now, I play every day that I have off. It's like crack. When I'm more horrible than normal (like today) it's like withdrawl symptoms.
Jeezus I was mad as hell today. But still, I hit that putt.... Made it all worth while. [Reply]
Originally Posted by WilliamTheIrish:
All women talk shit to you, needle dick. I'd talk shit on a pony tailed 80 year old Direct Tv installer too.
Get your money and your golf clubs out motherfvcker and lets go find out. K Your going to get embarassed by an old needle dick who owns a state championship. Keep running your mouth. [Reply]
Originally Posted by Skip Towne:
Get your money and your golf clubs out motherfvcker and lets go find out. K Your going to get embarassed by an old needle dick who owns a state championship. Keep running your mouth.
I'll be there geezer. Drop your golf clubs and your walker and your prosthetic pee pee and your soiled diaper memories of a state championship.
You won't get money, but I might buy you a beer before I treat your Social Security garnering azz like I did my clubs today. [Reply]
Originally Posted by WilliamTheIrish:
Update... I like golf again. Yesterday I got back on track. Shot a 90. Haven't broken 90 yet. Played my 3rd round of golf without losing a ball.
Small victories.
To break 90 you have to be proficient with the foot wedge.:-):-) [Reply]
Originally Posted by WilliamTheIrish:
Update... I like golf again. Yesterday I got back on track. Shot a 90. Haven't broken 90 yet. Played my 3rd round of golf without losing a ball.
Small victories.
How could you lose a ball when you can't hit it out of your shadow? [Reply]
You know, I have never played golf, and I had tears running down my face after reading this thread....The old lady came in here to see WTF I was laughing so hard at....
Truly, some of the funniest MFer's on the internet hang out on this BB.... [Reply]
Originally Posted by mikey23545:
You know, I have never played golf, and I had tears running down my face after reading this thread....The old lady came in here to see WTF I was laughing so hard at....
Truly, some of the funniest MFer's on the internet hang out on this BB....
Indeed. And the combined wit of these individuals will leave you in awe. [Reply]
Originally Posted by 6 Iron:
Skip, still here. I read through the post, and could not think of anything interesting to add. As for not being around, I needed considerable reconstructive surgery to repair the "new one". It looks good though, and works fine. Thanks for your concern.
I thought I had a temper on the course. That and the fact I can't afford to play since I don't qualify under my parent's membership anymore is the main reason I haven't played in more than 5 years.
My suggestion is to switch to decaf or more practice. [Reply]
In the group ahead of me today on the first tee, a gentleman steps up on the first tee and I hear him say "Lord please get this into the fairway that is all I ask".
He proceeded to hit it off the toe 25yds straight right into the lake. Immediatly after finishing his prayer, and watching the ball hit the water, he let off with a 4-5min tirade of words I dare not share. :-) I was laughing so I almost could't hit the ball when our group was up next.
Then on the 4th hole he flubs 3 chips in a row next thing I know he throws his PW 50 yards into the creek. And after following him around the course I got to say that it was the best shot he had today.:-)
I've played with better and I played with worse, but this guy was the most entertaining I have had the pleasure of following on a golf course. :-) [Reply]
I played Hickory on Friday. Two-man Scramble Member Guest with my dad. He's turned 75 May 22. We carded a 71. I should shoot that own my own :-) I made a 35-40 footer and he made a 20 footer but we missed 5 birdies putts that were less then 15 feet long. I think 4 were prolly less then 10'. :-) How can two people putt that bad?!!We won $80.00 though so........wudn't all bad. And that Country Club Calm Chowder :-)
I just went over my round and I hit 9 fairways, 15 greens and had 33 putts. We did not use all my iron shots out of those 15 we used three of my dads. I'd prolly shot at least 4 strokes higher own my own. 75 on Hickory Hills isn't to shabby. :-)
