Story One: Man arrested for giving wicked wedgies, or snuggies, or melvyns, or whatever you call pulling the underwear over a nerd's head.
Story Two: Fifty Year Old School Teacher Gets Tanked on Cheap Wine, wrecks her van, offers to blow the cop if he lets her go.
Florida, I love you. You're just so fun!
Story #1:
Charles Ross is known for orchestrating outrageous pranks and posting them to Youtube. But this time, the 18-year-old prankster may have gone a step too far.
Ross was arrested for battery Sunday night after he allegedly gave a series of wedgies to moviegoers outside the Carmike Royal Palm 20 in Bradenton, Fla., while a friend filmed the prank, the Bradenton Herald reports.
The underwear prank, which Gawker calls a "wedgie spree," ended badly for Ross when a 20-year-old male victim reported to authorities that Ross grabbed him "by the back of his pants and pulled them up hard," according to the Smoking Gun. Although other victims of the schoolyard prank also came forward, the 20-year-old is the only one seeking charges.
On his Youtube channel, Ross has uploaded video footage of him performing a variety of pranks -- from doing handstands over people to trying out pick-up lines -- but the latest in his compilation is by far one of his most hands-on public displays.
According to the police report obtained by the Smoking Gun, Ross challenged the male victim following the wedgie, "asking if he wanted to hit him."
The Mantee County Sheriff's Office arrested Ross and detained him overnight. He was released on $750 bail, records show, and his court date is set for Feb. 14.
Though Ross' wedgie spree was meant in jest, this is not the first time someone has been arrested for doling out the uncomfortable underwear gag. In 2006, an Albany, N.Y., teacher was arrested for endangering the welfare of a child after allegedly giving a 10-year-old student a wedgie during summer school.
Story #2:
'A' for effort?
Middle school math teacher Mary Maloney allegedly offered oral sex to a police officer after being nabbed for a hit-and-run in Palm Beach County, Fla.
Maloney, 53, was arrested Sunday after she crashed her van into a pickup truck around 8:35 p.m., then took off, according to an arrest report obtained by the Sun Sentinel. A witness to the crash tracked Maloney's car to a parking spot and then called police.
The arresting officer said he found an empty gallon jug of wine behind Maloney's driver's seat and "immediately smelled the strong odor of an alcoholic beverage emitting from her person," according to WPTV. The report states that her eyes were glassy, bloodshot, and partially closed.
The officer that drove Maloney to the police station noted that she asked him "How much do I need to pay you to just let me go? Don't you understand I am a school teacher?"
She then allegedly offered to perform oral sex on him and allow him to fondle her breasts.
Maloney was charged with driving under the influence, leaving the scene of a crash with damage, resisting an officer without violence, driving with a suspended license and attempted bribery of a public servant. [Reply]
Originally Posted by DaNewGuy:
Florida is the best. I love it here
This!! Fuck the Midwest. It's literally the toilet bowl of the US. So glad I got out of that area as soon as I possibly could.
The beach>any lake
Our winter>their winter
Our summer>their summer
I'll never forget my roots, but I ain't going back there. [Reply]
Originally Posted by Coochie liquor:
This!! Fuck the Midwest. It's literally the toilet bowl of the US. So glad I got out of that area as soon as I possibly could.
The beach>any lake
Our winter>their winter
Our summer>their summer
I'll never forget my roots, but I ain't going back there.
Funny, I've said the same thing about the beach, heat, and humidity. [Reply]
Originally Posted by Coochie liquor:
You'd rather swim in a lake that the gulf or ocean??
Yes. I grew-up surfing (East coast swells!!) and I dive, and I don't find blue-water/saltwater diving interesting anymore. And now that they've seen all the pretty fish when I take the kids diving I prefer green water diving. Saltwater has its place, but I can fly to it whenever the urge/need arise. But simply put, yes, I'd prefer fresh water over salt water. And I prefer thick, lush, soft blue grass over blue water and sand any day. And 90 degrees and 70% humidity just sucks balls.
Maybe someday when I'm old and my body can't produce heat I'll head back to the beach, or Arizona prolly, but not right now.
What I've learned in life is that, in no particular combination, three things tend to make people assholes; heat, humidity, and lack of soft green grass to cut and walk in. Think about it for a bit before you discount it... And while it's not always 100% true, it's a pretty good rule. Think of how the fucktards in the middle east might be/act if they had grass? Would Central America be less of the shit-hole in Shitsville and its inhabitants not trying to escape if it wasn't a disgusting wet-sauna with jungles instead of grass? Lord knows they need something to improve the place! Now take a trip 1.5K miles north of Cancer, or almost anywhere south of Capricorn; and you'll find awesome people who aren't likes-to-fight-guy 24x7. Again, not 100% accurate all the time, but I'd take a Danish vacation over a trip to the Bahamas any day. Simply more interesting in every way possible.
Originally Posted by GloryDayz:
Yes. I grew-up surfing (East coast swells!!) and I dive, and I don't find blue-water/saltwater diving interesting anymore. And now that they've seen all the pretty fish when I take the kids diving I prefer green water diving. Saltwater has its place, but I can fly to it whenever the urge/need arise. But simply put, yes, I'd prefer fresh water over salt water. And I prefer thick, lush, soft blue grass over blue water and sand any day. And 90 degrees and 70% humidity just sucks balls.
Maybe someday when I'm old and my body can't produce heat I'll head back to the beach, or Arizona prolly, but not right now.
What I've learned in life is that, in no particular combination, three things tend to make people assholes; heat, humidity, and lack of soft green grass to cut and walk in. Think about it for a bit before you discount it... And while it's not always 100% true, it's a pretty good rule. Think of how the fucktards in the middle east might be/act if they had grass? Would Central America be less of the shit-hole in Shitsville and its inhabitants not trying to escape if it wasn't a disgusting wet-sauna with jungles instead of grass? Lord knows they need something to improve the place! Now take a trip 1.5K miles north of Cancer, or almost anywhere south of Capricorn; and you'll find awesome people who aren't likes-to-fight-guy 24x7. Again, not 100% accurate all the time, but I'd take a Danish vacation over a trip to the Bahamas any day. Simply more interesting in every way possible.
Oh, and I love snow...
Great post!!
Undoubtedly, Florida isn't for everyone. But I can say this. St Louis (where I'm from) has had MANY more 100+ degree days than Tampa Bay (where I live now). I dislike, no HATE snow and cold weather. Nobody seems to be able to remember how to drive in snowy conditions, myself included. Cold weather sucks to me. When the temp gets to 70 here, then I'm too cold and complaining. I never liked the cold, and was never really able to get used to it when I lived there. I love the heat, I usually work outside in it, and then when I come home I occasionally jog in it. I never complain about the heat, I'd rather sweat than be cold. But admittedly I'm not right in the head so that may have something to do with it??
We took a trip back to St Louis about 4 years ago. My Father in law lives in Lake St Louis, and we went on his boat. Got in the lake and it was hot like bath water, and so brown and gross. That will hopefully be my last swim in a lake. It was just gross, I'd personally rather swim in the gulf or ocean, but different strokes...
I will gladly take this tropical environment over anywhere that I will have to wear a coat, or get that cold. I'll take 70's for the highs in the winter (although I'll bitch about it). But if everyone was like me then this place would be even more full of people and there'd be nobody north of I-10 [Reply]
Originally Posted by Coochie liquor:
Great post!!
Undoubtedly, Florida isn't for everyone. But I can say this. St Louis (where I'm from) has had MANY more 100+ degree days than Tampa Bay (where I live now). I dislike, no HATE snow and cold weather. Nobody seems to be able to remember how to drive in snowy conditions, myself included. Cold weather sucks to me. When the temp gets to 70 here, then I'm too cold and complaining. I never liked the cold, and was never really able to get used to it when I lived there. I love the heat, I usually work outside in it, and then when I come home I occasionally jog in it. I never complain about the heat, I'd rather sweat than be cold. But admittedly I'm not right in the head so that may have something to do with it??
We took a trip back to St Louis about 4 years ago. My Father in law lives in Lake St Louis, and we went on his boat. Got in the lake and it was hot like bath water, and so brown and gross. That will hopefully be my last swim in a lake. It was just gross, I'd personally rather swim in the gulf or ocean, but different strokes...
I will gladly take this tropical environment over anywhere that I will have to wear a coat, or get that cold. I'll take 70's for the highs in the winter (although I'll bitch about it). But if everyone was like me then this place would be even more full of people and there'd be nobody north of I-10
Cool. And 70 is where I start bitching too - just from the other direction. But I'm always open to compromise.. Winter in Southern Italy or Spain, Summer in the Scotland, Norway, Sweden and/or the Alps? [Reply]
I miss living in Florida from October to May. Whenever I fly back to KC from Florida, I always come out of the clouds over the Missouri river and I realize how beautiful the clear/blue water is in Florida. [Reply]
Now how did THAT get there?
(CNN)It doesn't get much more "Florida" than this.
During a recent traffic stop in Loxahatchee, Florida, fish and wildlife officers found an alligator foot sticking out of the ashtray of a truck.
Officers had stopped the truck in the Corbett Wildlife Management Area -- a swampy expanse northwest of West Palm Beach -- to check the driver's day pass. Instead, they found a scene out of the horror movie "Jeepers Creepers."
Alligator parts were scattered around the cab of the truck. The driver first told officers he had hunted the gator several years ago, then confessed to killing it a few days earlier -- without a permit. [Reply]
Originally Posted by EPodolak:
In case you missed it:
Now how did THAT get there?
(CNN)It doesn't get much more "Florida" than this.
During a recent traffic stop in Loxahatchee, Florida, fish and wildlife officers found an alligator foot sticking out of the ashtray of a truck.
Officers had stopped the truck in the Corbett Wildlife Management Area -- a swampy expanse northwest of West Palm Beach -- to check the driver's day pass. Instead, they found a scene out of the horror movie "Jeepers Creepers."
Alligator parts were scattered around the cab of the truck. The driver first told officers he had hunted the gator several years ago, then confessed to killing it a few days earlier -- without a permit.
Then, a few days ago, some guy in Florida got arrested for throwing an alligator in a drive through window. The incident prompted Tony Kornheiser, on PTI yesterday, to say "all the good stories begin with these three words: A Florida man......" Made me lol thinking of this thread [Reply]
