This isn't something I've given much thought over the last couple of years, so I had to spend some time contemplating the qualities a woman would need to interest me in the extremely unlikely event that I ever decided to dabble in a relationship again.
So, without further ado, The List™:
(or a small part of it, in no particular order, as every single item is important...)
She must be intelligent. I will not respect someone who is not.
She must have a sense of humor and a quick wit. I don’t want someone dour or sullen. I want someone I can have fun with.
She must be strong and independent. I am not an adherent to traditional gender roles. I don’t want a submissive woman looking for someone to protect her. I have no interest in a woman looking for me to bandage her self-worth or to provide meaning to her life. I want a partner, an equal.
She must be athletic. She doesn’t need to have a playmate’s body, but I don’t want a ‘big’ girl. The most attractive part of a woman to me (below the shoulders, at least) lies between the hips and ankles. Large breasts do absolutely nothing for me. Neither do belly rolls.
She must be beautiful. “Beauty” in a general sense is a transcendent idea that involves all the facets on the list, but I’m talking purely physical appearance here, specifically from the shoulders up. She has to have eyes that draw my attention, as well as a contagious smile.
She has to be trustworthy and honest. These are both hugely important to me. If I even suspect she’ll lie to me – about anything – it will never work.
She has to be sexual. And monogamous. I don't like to share.
She must understand that I’m a gamer, and that’s not something that’s going to change.
In fact, I’d go further and give an all encompassing ‘she must accept me for who I am.’ I’m not looking to change, or to be changed. Take me as I am, or get the **** out. I’ll give her the same respect.
She must understand that I sometimes struggle with anxiety, and that I am generally not a social creature. But, at the same time, she can’t be a crutch. This is actually a pretty complicated one, and it's changed over the years.
We must have similar interests. I don’t want it to be like my parents, where dad lives in his world doing his stuff, and mom lives in another doing hers. There’s going to have to be some flexibility, no two people are identical, but we need to have similar tastes in everything from food to movies to books to TV, et cetera, or it’s a waste of time in my opinion.
She can be religious (although that’s not high on my list), but she has to understand that I am not and respect that fact. I’m comfortable with my own beliefs, and I’m not interested in converting either one of us. (I enjoy philosophical discussion, however)
And this is just the tip of the iceberg. Ironically, it's a fairly hypocritical list. I don't meet a few of my own requirements. [Reply]
Originally Posted by keg in kc:
And this is just the tip of the iceberg. Ironically, it's a fairly hypocritical list. I don't meet a few of my own requirements.
huh... you're fucked then.
I've met your dream girl before. I bet I meet her again.
Your list probably compares pretty evenly with alot of people's lists. Maybe a swap in the hobby department, but if you think your list is unreasonable... Babe, you're nuts.
Originally Posted by :
She must understand that I sometimes struggle with anxiety, and that I am generally not a social creature. But, at the same time, she can’t be a crutch. This is actually a pretty complicated one, and it's changed over the years.
I struggled with this one.
You're not social so she can't be a crutch...
She becomes your only social, or shes pushing social on you?
Originally Posted by keg in kc:
This isn't something I've given much thought over the last couple of years, so I had to spend some time contemplating the qualities a woman would need to interest me in the extremely unlikely event that I ever decided to dabble in a relationship again.
So, without further ado, The List™:
(or a small part of it, in no particular order, as every single item is important...)
She must be intelligent. I will not respect someone who is not.
She must have a sense of humor and a quick wit. I don’t want someone dour or sullen. I want someone I can have fun with.
She must be strong and independent. I am not an adherent to traditional gender roles. I don’t want a submissive woman looking for someone to protect her. I have no interest in a woman looking for me to bandage her self-worth or to provide meaning to her life. I want a partner, an equal.
She must be athletic. She doesn’t need to have a playmate’s body, but I don’t want a ‘big’ girl. The most attractive part of a woman to me (below the shoulders, at least) lies between the hips and ankles. Large breasts do absolutely nothing for me. Neither do belly rolls.
She must be beautiful. “Beauty” in a general sense is a transcendent idea that involves all the facets on the list, but I’m talking purely physical appearance here, specifically from the shoulders up. She has to have eyes that draw my attention, as well as a contagious smile.
She has to be trustworthy and honest. These are both hugely important to me. If I even suspect she’ll lie to me – about anything – it will never work.
She has to be sexual. And monogamous. I don't like to share.
She must understand that I’m a gamer, and that’s not something that’s going to change.
In fact, I’d go further and give an all encompassing ‘she must accept me for who I am.’ I’m not looking to change, or to be changed. Take me as I am, or get the **** out. I’ll give her the same respect.
She must understand that I sometimes struggle with anxiety, and that I am generally not a social creature. But, at the same time, she can’t be a crutch. This is actually a pretty complicated one, and it's changed over the years.
We must have similar interests. I don’t want it to be like my parents, where dad lives in his world doing his stuff, and mom lives in another doing hers. There’s going to have to be some flexibility, no two people are identical, but we need to have similar tastes in everything from food to movies to books to TV, et cetera, or it’s a waste of time in my opinion.
She can be religious (although that’s not high on my list), but she has to understand that I am not and respect that fact. I’m comfortable with my own beliefs, and I’m not interested in converting either one of us. (I enjoy philosophical discussion, however)
And this is just the tip of the iceberg. Ironically, it's a fairly hypocritical list. I don't meet a few of my own requirements.
Originally Posted by Katipan:
huh... you're ****ed then.
I've met your dream girl before. I bet I meet her again.
Your list probably compares pretty evenly with alot of people's lists. Maybe a swap in the hobby department, but if you think your list is unreasonable... Babe, you're nuts.
Dude, this is only part of the list. I could probably go another 3 or 4 posts without stopping to think hard.
And she'd have to fit all of it.
Originally Posted by :
I struggled with this one.
You're not social so she can't be a crutch...
She becomes your only social, or shes pushing social on you?
I love new languages.
Should have worded that better. I meant she can't be a crutch for my anxiety. I can't back out of doing stuff I should be able to do because there's somebody else to do it for me. Most of that stuff is out of the way now, though.
I'm actually pretty good with people, and not as anti-social as I make myself out to be. But, even so, I'm not a frat boy in a 35-year old body, either. [Reply]
Originally Posted by keg in kc:
This isn't something I've given much thought over the last couple of years, so I had to spend some time contemplating the qualities a woman would need to interest me in the extremely unlikely event that I ever decided to dabble in a relationship again.
So, without further ado, The List™:
(or a small part of it, in no particular order, as every single item is important...)
She must be intelligent. I will not respect someone who is not.
She must have a sense of humor and a quick wit. I don’t want someone dour or sullen. I want someone I can have fun with.
She must be strong and independent. I am not an adherent to traditional gender roles. I don’t want a submissive woman looking for someone to protect her. I have no interest in a woman looking for me to bandage her self-worth or to provide meaning to her life. I want a partner, an equal.
She must be athletic. She doesn’t need to have a playmate’s body, but I don’t want a ‘big’ girl. The most attractive part of a woman to me (below the shoulders, at least) lies between the hips and ankles. Large breasts do absolutely nothing for me. Neither do belly rolls.
She must be beautiful. “Beauty” in a general sense is a transcendent idea that involves all the facets on the list, but I’m talking purely physical appearance here, specifically from the shoulders up. She has to have eyes that draw my attention, as well as a contagious smile.
She has to be trustworthy and honest. These are both hugely important to me. If I even suspect she’ll lie to me – about anything – it will never work.
She has to be sexual. And monogamous. I don't like to share.
She must understand that I’m a gamer, and that’s not something that’s going to change.
In fact, I’d go further and give an all encompassing ‘she must accept me for who I am.’ I’m not looking to change, or to be changed. Take me as I am, or get the **** out. I’ll give her the same respect.
She must understand that I sometimes struggle with anxiety, and that I am generally not a social creature. But, at the same time, she can’t be a crutch. This is actually a pretty complicated one, and it's changed over the years.
We must have similar interests. I don’t want it to be like my parents, where dad lives in his world doing his stuff, and mom lives in another doing hers. There’s going to have to be some flexibility, no two people are identical, but we need to have similar tastes in everything from food to movies to books to TV, et cetera, or it’s a waste of time in my opinion.
She can be religious (although that’s not high on my list), but she has to understand that I am not and respect that fact. I’m comfortable with my own beliefs, and I’m not interested in converting either one of us. (I enjoy philosophical discussion, however)
And this is just the tip of the iceberg. Ironically, it's a fairly hypocritical list. I don't meet a few of my own requirements.
Must be able to prioritize and compromise. In this case, I'm describing you. [Reply]
A lack of interest in compromising my standards is one of the reasons why I've given up relationships in the first place. As it stands, I prefer being single, so there's no real motivation to settle for something or someone less. [Reply]