Me a nice guy?

rofl

You have no idea just how funny that is. I've done some horrible things to women, all joking about myself aside, that's the main part of why I've given them up.

I think Mer's looking for (and hopefully found) a guy who's different things at different times. Sometimes strong, sometimes not. Able to be an alpha male and a teddy bear, depending on what she needs at that particular moment. I think the last thing she wants is a protector, because she values her independence.

Your problem is you talk, but you don't listen.

But, hey, I could be wrong. And I'm sure she'll tell me if I am.
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You want something so badly that you go from point A to point G, skipping over all the points in between?

I've done that, that was pretty much my entire relationship with my ex-wife.

Gets tougher as you get older, because you feel a clock ticking that wasn't there 10 years ago.
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Odds are, she's like me. We can smell when someone's faking it. It's a true gift.
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I'm gonna say this: If it's love you don't have to worry about how to get from point A to point G. Point A is a starting point...and from there, just have fun.
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I do listen but I HAVE learned and listened to what women want and happily that pretty much hits the nail on the head for what I am. I can be sweet and thoughtful and full of surprises but without the other things it really means nothing.

And I wish you would give women a second chance, I respect them immensely and enjoy the company of women to men any time! Seriously you are missing a gift to men that when you find the right one is a treasure and should be treated as such (most the time :-))
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I don't actually believe in "love", but that's a whole 'nother can of worms. And I know I'd be on my own in that argument.
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Yep women are VERY perceptive and they can tell when you are comfortable in your own skin.
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I've heard a lot of people say that and I've heard a lot of people say love is a choice you make. I used to think that with my ex, and then we divorced and I fell in love and realized that all my life I was wrong.
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"My biological clock is tickin' like this!" (stomps foot on porch)


I'm not worried about the biological clock, and I'm not sure what other clock you mean. Just life?
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Yessss. This man would do anything for any child. Children love love love him. And yet he's sexy in a cage fight. We'll spar together and he lets me attack him with everything I've got. No bare knuckles to the face tho, the first couple times we went to work with bruises on our cheekbones, stopped that.... But when the times comes and he wants to end it, he flips me over like I'm tiny and I'm immediately tapping out.

The first time we had a disagreement, I cursed as is my natural inclination to do... And he just stopped, looked at me and said "is cursing at me really necessary?"

... I felt like I was 9.

My ex husband probably would have smacked me. Ex boyfriends probably would have cursed back. Course, now that I typed all that out, it looks kind of silly, but it was an ah-ha moment for me.

Now that I've gushed about him, I just want to add. You "not" knowing me so well is a total turn on. :-)
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It wouldn't be a second chance, it would be a seventh or eight chance, and it's not about women, per se. I think women are great. Coolest thing in the universe. The truth is that there's something in my personality that makes women disposable to me. I get bored and move on to the next one. It's happened over and over. They're basically a means to an end (orgasm) for me, and not much more. And I've hurt people because of that. It doesn't really bother me all that much, to be honest, that I have hurt people, but I recognize it as being wrong, so I'll pick up chicks when I feel like it, but that's as far as it goes. I won't date. Not any more. I have no interest in a family or kids or giving up any of the things I enjoy doing, so I'm not actually missing out on anything that I want.

So...I'm really a selfish asshole. And exactly who I want to be.
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You're Barney.
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Not biological, just time in general. You're in your 30s now. When you were in your twenties your life was just starting. You'll wake up one morning sometime hopefully not too soon (for your sake) and realize it's probably half over.

It doesn't hit me in relationship terms, it hits me in the area of "what the fuck have I done with my life?"

It's what has me writing, really writing, for the first time, after talking about it for a decade.
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Who's Barney?
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You're not alone in that thought...
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