ChiefsPlanet Mobile
Page 23 of 25
« First < 131920212223 2425 >
Hall of Classics>I'm on a mission to shit
Hammock Parties 11:46 AM 05-19-2014
Five days ago I had surgery.

On the first day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as I had not eaten since lunchtime the day before.

On the second day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as the doctors informed me that I may experience constipation.

On the third day, I did not shit. I became concerned. I began eating apples, taking a stool softener, and enjoyed a large bowl of indian beans.

On the fourth day, I did not shit. My bowels began to feel...too full. I drank two large glasses of Metamucil and two tablespoons of milk of magnesia.

It is the fifth day, and I have not shat, though farts are coming profusely and with great force. I took two tablets of Senokot (recommended by my doctor) and downed a large bowl of Kellog's Fiber Plus about an hour ago.

I'm on a mission. To shit.

Please, God. Let me shit.
[Reply]
Pepe Silvia 01:43 PM 05-21-2014
Gosh damn it why did I click on that?
[Reply]
ptlyon 01:44 PM 05-21-2014
Originally Posted by theelusiveeightrop:
No way am I opening that picture
Originally Posted by loochy:
its pretty big, but its not as big as i expected
I did. :-)

Just when you think you've seen it all on CP...
[Reply]
booger 01:51 PM 05-21-2014
Still bleeding man? Did that buttpon hold up? Really got to cram that sucker in there
[Reply]
ThaVirus 01:52 PM 05-21-2014
Originally Posted by loochy:
its pretty big, but its not as big as i expected

Thaaaaat's what she said!
[Reply]
Sweet Daddy Hate 02:20 PM 05-21-2014
Will...not...open.

I mean, I refuse to open.
[Reply]
BlackHelicopters 03:59 PM 05-21-2014
Thanks for the turd by turd updates
[Reply]
Sweet Daddy Hate 04:00 PM 05-21-2014
lol

This thread is wonderful.
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 04:48 PM 05-21-2014
I didn't shit today.


[Reply]
Pasta Little Brioni 05:00 PM 05-21-2014
More enjoyable...pooping or speed dating?
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 05:03 PM 05-21-2014
Originally Posted by PGM:
More enjoyable...pooping or speed dating?
This thread was enjoyable.

Speed dating was like talking to what I shat out.
[Reply]
loochy 05:14 PM 05-21-2014
Originally Posted by Count Zarth:
I didn't shit today.

Yeah, you're completely empty. There's nothing left.
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 05:17 PM 05-21-2014
Originally Posted by loochy:
Yeah, you're completely empty. There's nothing left.
I ate food yesterday and today though.
[Reply]
loochy 05:27 PM 05-21-2014
Originally Posted by Count Zarth:
I ate food yesterday and today though.
Adobe (/əˈdoʊbi/, UK /əˈdoʊb/,[1] Spanish pronunciation:*[aˈðoβe]; Arabic: الطوب) is the Spanish word for mud brick, a natural building material made from sand, clay, water, and some kind of fibrous or organic material (sticks, straw, and/or manure), usually shaped into bricks using molds and dried in the sun. Adobe buildings are similar to cob and rammed earth buildings, but cob and rammed earth are directly made into walls rather than bricks. The Romanian name for this material is chirpici.
[Reply]
htismaqe 06:03 PM 05-21-2014
Originally Posted by Count Zarth:
I didn't shit today.

Make sure you're getting plenty of fluid. Once the magnesium citrate wears off, you'll end up right back where you started if you're not careful.
[Reply]
BigRedChief 06:39 PM 05-21-2014
Originally Posted by 505 Chief:
lol

This thread is wonderful.
Hall of Classics worthy? What say the Planet?
[Reply]
Page 23 of 25
« First < 131920212223 2425 >
Up