Packfool named me to his "All Idiot Team", along with KC Wolfman, Titus, JOhn and Luzap. I should feel bad, but I actually feel honored that Packfool thinks i'm not "in his class" of football.....um......intelligence?
Oh cap manager! This would be just the ticket to go with the new duds! I just wouldn't feel right with the 300 ultra mag on the sidelines, it just doesn't go with the shoes. :>0
I don’t know if the position of OC has been filled, but since I have so much time on my hands as PK I figured I could help out designing plays. Here is one that I came up with that I think would be effective with very little time left in the game or the half. We send all our receivers on 5-10 yard patterns. The opposing defense will most likely be playing a deep zone prevent defense. These short pass patterns will obviously confuse them and someone will be able to score a TD on this play.
I'm trying to figure out what the secret message imbedded in the diagram says... I think it means... "Blitz me, Blitz me, Blitz me 'cuz I've never won a playoff game!" :-)
Being a DT, I think I have as much qualifications as anyone on designing plays. This one I call dip$hit doogle 01. Guaranteed to confuse the defense and the offense. Found it on the floor while cleaning JR's office.
[This message has been edited by TheFly (edited 12-20-2000).] [Reply]
On the Bench (until we find a spot):
1st in the game: ROYC75 (Protective of his precious bodily fluids.)
2nd in the game: morphius (Uses his Mullet Super Powers for good.)
Off-the-field personnel: Waterboy: alanm (He “loves” his mommy.) Cheerleaders: Who the hell cares who they are, as long as they look good? PR Man: RCG Chief (Head Bullsh!tter.) Masseuse: Smltheppl (Likes to touch stuff.) Youngin': raiderhader (Still waiting for that first facial hair.) Legal counsel: AZ Chief (Will always have a job with this bunch.) Media Guide Manager: Misplaced Chiefs Fan (Make sure our pictures are pretty.) Designated Smart Slapper: bkkcoh (Teaches us a thing or two.) Executive in Charge of Player Fines: Clint in Wichita (Just don't shoot us...and I stil think that’s funny. Classless, but funny.) Waste of Oxygen: Packfan
We have changed defensive alignments from a 4-3 to a 5-2, since we have a wealth of DLs and not enough LBs.
Defense: PR/KR: mlyonsd (Our local Ford dealer...Vanover Jr.) LB: Chief Priority; Chief Red Pants (They’re meaner than Maz, deadly than Donnie, and they lick Bush.) DT: The Fly (Because he doesn’t watch the ball); 58forever (Because he watches the ball but doesn’t care); Logical (“There’s a ball?”) DE: gaz (In like Flynn.); stevieray (His pass rush is like lightning...it lasts about 1/10th a second and stops when it hits something.) RCB: htismaque (Likes to keep things under the cover.) LCB: Disco Jones (Dances like Deion Sanders, tackles like Deion Warwick.) SS: WisChief (Strong, but not very safe.) FS: Iowanian (Comes out gunning...literally...Rae Carruth Jr.) Punter: Mi_chief_fan (Had nothing better to do.)
Of course, things could change at any time. If Bwana would stop trying to be the albino Shaft, I could focus more time on winning playoff games and less on finding smarta$$ed remarks to make about everyone. (And remember, these are supposed to be jokes. They were all funny before I typed them.) :-)
Without further ado, here we go (I hope I posted this in the correct order!):
Team owner: Mi_chief_fan (Started this mess.) GM/Team Pimp: Bwana (Busy looking for his new negotiating “tool.”)
Coaching staff: Head Coach: Denzel Washington (Just don’t fumble.) ST Coach: Otter (Only because he’s so special.) OC: Dartgod (Has no balance...perfect for our system.)
Offense: QB: Mark M (Will win playoff games.) FB: Bob Dole (Will block and run in the third person.) HB: Luz (Gets two carries a game, even though he deserves more...Kimble Anders Jr.) HB: H_C (Will bust off a 80 yard and then ride the bench for dating the coach’s girlfriend...Greg Hill Jr. ). HB: Lumpoc Brave (Starter in name only...Mike Cloud Jr.) WRs: KPhobia, JOhn, coryt (All have hands...what more do you want?) OT: Titus; Wolfman (Tackle is your position, not a blocking technique.) OG: Russ; bishop74 (They just get in the way.) Center/Star of many a fantasy: Cameron Diaz TE: dawsonpa (Can smack her butt often, but lightly.); Mark Kilgore (Got his way. Happy now? :-)) PK: Dartgod (Couldn’t hit water if he fell out of a boat...Lin Eliot Jr.)
I'm hoping that the mental image i portrait really isn't like the (John Rambo, post jail break)that it appears...I won't be packing heat on gameday...but may bite a finget off of an opposing reciever in a pile.. [Reply]
