Packfool named me to his "All Idiot Team", along with KC Wolfman, Titus, JOhn and Luzap. I should feel bad, but I actually feel honored that Packfool thinks i'm not "in his class" of football.....um......intelligence?
Let's see there was the Bumerroosky which was a fake punt. Where the ball was hiked to the upback and placed between the legs of a lineman pulling who took off running. There was the Fumbleroosky where the Center hiked it to hit the QB's hand and then let it hit the ground and then the Center picked it up and took off. There were a couple of others like the Bounceroosky but they haven't run them in forever and one forgets in my advanced age. [Reply]
Defense:
PR/KR: mlyonsd (Sells stolen--er--used cars in the off-season.)
MLB: Chief Priority (Not so lean tackling machine.)
DT: The Fly, 58forever (The Offsides Outlaws.)
DE: gaz (Hasn't complained yet.); Mark Kilgore (End wasn't tight enough.)
RCB: htismaque (Faster than a speeding bullet...but not as accurate.)
LCB: Disco Jones (Will dance better than Deion.)
SS: WisChief (Likes to hit stuff.)
FS: Iowanian (Is heavily armed...and perhaps medicated.)
Punter: Mi_chief_fan (Is the owner...can do whatever the hell he wants.) Off-the-field personnel:
Waterboy: alanm (Rode the short bus.)
Special Teams Coach: Otter (Remember: You must have someone to cover all of the opponents players...i.e. the flyer.)
Cheerleaders: Trixy, Katt, Starr and the other whores--er--I mean athletic supporters--er--I mean Fan Support Specialists from the Million Dollar Fantasy Ranch, Warrensbug, MO
PR Man: RCG Chief (Will tell the public what we want them to hear, rather than the truth...Bob Gretz Jr.)
Masseuse: Smltheppl (Also uses aroma therapy. :-) )
Youngin': raiderhader (Will get to play when he finishes puberty.)
Legal counsel: AZ Chief (With KCs recent problems, not a bad idea.)
Media Guide Manager: Misplaced Chiefs Fan (Be sure to include the attendance in that day's program. Packfan will use this publication for his main source of info.)
Designated Smart Slapper: bkkcoh (Hee keeeps us hear ideeuts n lin.)
Executive in Charge of Player Fines: Clint in Wichita (Just don't shoot us.)
Deaf, dumb and blind kid: Packfan
[This message has been edited by Mark M (edited 12-20-2000).] [Reply]
Team owner: Mi_chief_fan (Will charge $10 to participate in practice.)
GM: Bwana (Is busy trying to get his wardrobe under the salary cap.)
Coach: Denzel Washington (Miles for everyone.) Offense:
QB: Mark M (Got the job by winning the Sears trophy and Super Bowl...on his PLayStation. At least he's won a playoff game.)
FB: Bob Dole (Large and in charge).
HB: Luz (averages 4 ypc...for his three carries a season. Kimble Anders Jr.)
HB: H_C (Will bust off a 60 yard and then ride the bench...Greg Hill Jr.).
HB: Lumpoc Brave (Named starter in minicamp but will never see action...Mike Cloud Jr.)
WR: KPhobia, JOhn, coryt (Tres Hombres)
OT: Titus; Wolfman ("Burnt" Ends.)
OG: Russ (Has a knack for getting in the way); bishop (Needed a spot on the team...plus we needed to fill out the roster.)
Center/Halftime Entertainment: Cameron Diaz
TE: dawsonpa (Has the tightest end in the league.); Logical (Will make sense in this position.)
PK: Dartgod (Lin Eliott Jr...)
I would like to thank everyone for not taking my snide comments too seriously.
All roster positions will be finalized by Bwana (assuming he gets his shopping done) and Mi (power hungry son-of-a . . . . ).
MM
~~Has spent too much time on this...
[This message has been edited by Mark M (edited 12-20-2000).] [Reply]
This just in from the PR department.
Coach Washington has reportedly been signed to a 37-year contract extension. GM CEO Lord of the Dance Bwana had this to say. I think Denzel has done a super job in developing our young talent this year and we are poised to make a run at the Super bowl next year. The were a few growing pains this year but, game in, and game out we improved. As a matter of fact we had a meeting just this week, and each of us now knows when to kick or go for 2. In addition to adding goldfish filled acrylic platform shoes to his wardrobe Bwana has pledged to personally aerate“ The next SOB that jumps off sides with his .300 Winchester Magnum. Over the next few weeks we will have on ongoing 7 part series entitled “Our centers behind”, uhh “Behind the center”.
[This message has been edited by RCGChief (edited 12-20-2000).] [Reply]
Kilgore--
I thought you requested to be put on the defensive side of the ball? I think you'd do great at DT...you can always blame lack of production with "I was double--no--triple--no--quadruple teamed! Yeah, that's it!" :-)
gaz--
We have a play designed just for you and your skills...It's called the Packfan Blitz: You will just sit there and point out facts, stats and logic, thus confusing Pack and his team of know-it-alls. This will create havoc with their offense and should get us pretty good field position.
