Conversely, I'm in work and bored and flipping cable channels, and have paused at "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" with Johnny Depp (on ABC Family), which is a movie that simply had no reason ever being made IMO.

I have buddy that Pit Bulls his girl.

He takes the tampon out of her cooch, and eats the blood clots, and sucks the tampon, and then whips his head around like a Pit Bull on a chew toy. Apparently his girl loves it.

North Korea qualified for the 2010 World Cup.

Hm....that's interesting.

:-):-)

There's no such thing as a bad pit bull. Just a bad owner. /Big Daddy

i got a job offer the other day while working the bread store, today i showed up to accept the position to discover that the guy who made the offer(and negotiated wage, even promised higher than what he said they normally started at) doesn't actually work there.

im still more than a little confused, the guy was in the building when i went in, but said he didn't actually work there and introduced me to the lady working the front desk, but she had no idea what he was talking about. some other dude came rushing in and they all had to leave, so she tossed me an application and asked me to come back.

don't think so.

I bet the main reason the police keep people away from a plane crash is they don't want anybody walking in and lying down in the crash stuff, then, when somebody comes up, act like they just woke up and go, "What was THAT?!".

haha is that mitch hedberg?

The people in the village were real poor, so none of the children had any toys. But this one little boy had gotten an old enema bag and filled it with rocks, and he would go around and whap the other children across the face with it. Man, I think my heart almost broke. Later the boy came up and offered to give me the toy. This was too much! I reached out my hand, but then he ran away. I chased him down and took the enema bag. He cried a little, but that's the way of these people.

No, im starting to post a lot of "Deep Thoughts" by Jack Handy

RIP Mitch......he was hilarious

ya he was, RIP

that first one sounded like him

Sometimes I wave to people I don't know. It's very dangerous to wave to someone you don't know because, what if they don't have a hand? They'll think you're cocky. "Look what I got motherfucker! This thing is useful. I'm gonna go pick something up!"

One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said. "Disneyland burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.

I just saw a MILF in a tight gray business suit with wonderful calves. She was taking her dog out for a shit. I wanted to bang her.

My bosses broke out the Crown and Cokes at a quarter to 4. I have had a great day.

Nice to know that calves are the first thing you noticed.........I think you might be queer.