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Hall of Classics>The Declaration Of Independence, MO - The People vs. Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel
Hammock Parties 02:57 AM 07-21-2012
The Declaration Of Independence, MO


The People vs. Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel


When in the course of football events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the fandom bands which have connected them with a Quarterback, and to assume among the Powers of the NFL, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Football and of the NFL's Goodell entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all Quarterbacks are not created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain Unalienable Talents, that among these are Arm Strength, Accuracy and the Pursuit of Championships.

That to secure these talents, Quarterbacks are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the Consent of the Fanbase, That whenever any Form of Quarterback becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Quarterbacks, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Attendance At Arrowhead and Hope For A Championship.

Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Quarterbacks Long Established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably The Same Offense evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to Throw Off Such Quarterbacks, and to provide new Guards (however, neither left nor right) for their Future Rooting Interests.

Such has been the patient sufferance of these Chiefs Fans; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Offense. The history of the present Quarterback is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an Absolute Run-First Offense over the State of Missouri.


To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.


Cassel 3:16


Spoiler!


Playoff Teams Beat Cassel At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Winning Teams Beat Cassel At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Cassel Lacks Deep Passing Ability


Spoiler!


Cassel Makes Offensive Linemen Worse


Spoiler!


Cassel Struggles Against Good Defenses At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Cassel Struggles Against Elite Quarterbacks At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!



We, therefore, the Representatives of the United States of Chiefs Fans, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme GM of Arrowhead for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Chiefs, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Chiefs fans are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent of Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel.

That they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the Patriot Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of New England, is and ought to be totally dissolved.

And that as Free and Independent Chiefs Fans, they have full Power to levy Boos, conclude Peace, contract Alliances with Dwayne Bowe, establish Commerce with Top Five Picks, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent Fans may of right do.

And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Playoff Fortunes and our Sacred Fandom.


SIGN BELOW


This post made possible by SNR, Coogs and
The Gang Of 14.
Statistics compiled by ESPN, PFF and PFR

Dedicated to 'Hamas' Jenkins, our Patrick Henry, who said "Give Me Sanchez, Or Give Me Death."









For further details, please review
The Pioli Facts.

The Declaration has been updated with statistics from 2012 and FINALIZED. Remove Matt Cassel from Kansas City. FOREVER.

[Reply]
whoman69 07:12 PM 07-24-2012
Originally Posted by Toad King:
That has nothing to do with coaching.

It's a shitty read by Cassel. Throwing to a receiver who has a 5 percent chance of getting the 1st down is terrible.
He wasn't locked in or anything.
[Reply]
Munson 12:10 AM 07-25-2012
I'm way too lazy to research this, but it would be interesting to see a breakdown on how many 3-and-outs Cassel has against:

- winning teams
- losing teams
- playoff teams

And it would be interesting to see where his 3-and-outs rank overall in the league every year he's been starting. I'm guessing he's one of the top 10 worst QBs.
[Reply]
themanwithnoname 01:34 AM 07-25-2012
Originally Posted by Munson:
I'm way too lazy to research this, but it would be interesting to see a breakdown on how many 3-and-outs Cassel has against:

- winning teams
- losing teams
- playoff teams

And it would be interesting to see where his 3-and-outs rank overall in the league every year he's been starting. I'm guessing he's one of the top 10 worst QBs.
Haley's "4th down territory" makes a lot of sense in hindsight. Honestly it even made plenty of sense if you were willing to look at Cassel objectively back then.

I don't know how bad the team/Cassel was, but I know just watching the games, you felt it was far worse than even the abysmal Herm offense years. Then they'd finally pull their heads out of their ass and let Charles make something out of nothing.
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 03:14 PM 07-25-2012
Originally Posted by Munson:
I'm way too lazy to research this, but it would be interesting to see a breakdown on how many 3-and-outs Cassel has against:

- winning teams
- losing teams
- playoff teams

And it would be interesting to see where his 3-and-outs rank overall in the league every year he's been starting. I'm guessing he's one of the top 10 worst QBs.
This is far too difficult to research. You'd have to go into the play by play for every game, for every qb, for multiple years.

I'd also guess his three and outs are no more likely against good teams than they are against bad teams. Denver in 2010 was horrible and he was a three and out king early in that game. Same with Miami in 2011.
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 06:22 PM 07-25-2012
Ah, excellent!



In other news...

http://www.fanfeedr.com/nfl/kansas-c...9-a26d7f2f7c57



Originally Posted by :
On Wednesday, Matt Cassel got the chance to warm up for training camp with two of his new "buddies."

The Chiefs signal-caller taught two local fans about the quarterback position during an event at the Chiefs Training Facility sponsored by the Shadow Buddies Foundation.

Ryan Landreth of Olathe, KS. and Kaylyn Olson of Shawnee Mission, KS. ran quarterback drills with Cassel, the spokesperson of the Shadow Buddies Foundation since 2010. The foundation provides emotional support to sick and disabled kids though education and stuffed dolls called "buddies" specifically tailored to each child's condition.

Cassel also taught the two kids how to take three and five-step drops and where to throw the best fade pattern against tight coverage.

[Reply]
O.city 06:26 PM 07-25-2012
Whats terrible about most of those gif's is that he isn't being asked to make a really difficult throw.


Most are throws an average college division 1 quarterback makes daily.
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 06:31 PM 07-25-2012
:-)




[Reply]
Dayze 07:10 PM 07-25-2012
The next pick shows him overthrowing the little girl in the face of severe pressure from the blitzing little kid.
[Reply]
rico 07:22 PM 07-25-2012
Originally Posted by Dayze:
The next pick shows him overthrowing the little girl in the face of severe pressure from the blitzing little kid.
:-)
[Reply]
Fish 10:16 PM 07-25-2012
Like Cassel knows anything about a five step drop....
[Reply]
BillSelfsTrophycase 10:18 PM 07-25-2012
Originally Posted by Toad King:
Ah, excellent!



In other news...

http://www.fanfeedr.com/nfl/kansas-c...9-a26d7f2f7c57


Pants shitting 101

They're learning from the best
[Reply]
NJChiefsFan 10:24 PM 07-25-2012
Originally Posted by Toad King:

Its about time Matt started taking lessons. Not sure why he is taking lessons from people at his skill level though.
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 10:35 PM 07-25-2012



[Reply]
Titty Meat 11:27 PM 07-25-2012
Faked Ned Yost is Ryan Scott Hall on Twitter.
[Reply]
MoreLemonPledge 08:55 AM 07-26-2012
Maybe we can replace Matty with Cole Hamels. They look similar enough that true fans wouldn't even notice.


[Reply]
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