On the first day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as I had not eaten since lunchtime the day before.
On the second day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as the doctors informed me that I may experience constipation.
On the third day, I did not shit. I became concerned. I began eating apples, taking a stool softener, and enjoyed a large bowl of indian beans.
On the fourth day, I did not shit. My bowels began to feel...too full. I drank two large glasses of Metamucil and two tablespoons of milk of magnesia.
It is the fifth day, and I have not shat, though farts are coming profusely and with great force. I took two tablets of Senokot (recommended by my doctor) and downed a large bowl of Kellog's Fiber Plus about an hour ago.
Originally Posted by Dayze:
why is the top of the turd folded over like a poop oragami?
It's from overuse of that hook shaped dildo he's been using to tickle his prostate. Damn it Clay. I told you that thing would make your poops looks weird. [Reply]
Originally Posted by Buzz:
Look on the bright side, after wiping your bung hole raw and your finger pokes through the toilet paper you will no longer be a virgin.
Hershey Squirts leads to that debilitating, uncomfortable sensation known as "Tangy Asshole." [Reply]
I was rudely awakened at 2AM by a wet, explosive aftershock. Debris was small and scattered.
After a night of gurgly, fitful sleep, I broke my shitting fast about an hour ago. This was again explosive, wet and a powerful shock to my recently evacuated bowels. The formation resembled the Philippines.
I have since consumed two more pain pills. Will the cycle repeat itself? We will watch. And pray. [Reply]
Originally Posted by loochy:
That's actually not as bad as I expected. I bet it was the consistency of a piece of rebar though. Did you cry when it came out? How's your butt? Did it tear?
It was actually not painful at all. I've been downing stool softeners like M&Ms since Friday. [Reply]
Originally Posted by Count Zarth:
I was rudely awakened at 2AM by a wet, explosive aftershock. Debris was small and scattered.
After a night of gurgly, fitful sleep, I broke my shitting fast about an hour ago. This was again explosive, wet and a powerful shock to my recently evacuated bowels. The formation resembled the Philippines.
I have since consumed two more pain pills. Will the cycle repeat itself? We will watch. And pray.
The thing is, the saline solution will continue to draw water into the intestine even after it's empty.
Prepare to pass water several times before it's over. [Reply]
