I thought I'd start a new thread for updates on my cancer treatments and whatever else is going on, since the bad news thread title is misleading now.
My last treatment went better than the previous two and my chest wound is still closed up, which is a good thing. My arm is getting slightly stronger and I hope to resume lifting dumbbells next week. I need to build up my strength again, because I am going back to Denmark in May and I am extremely pumped about that! I'd like to be able to schlepp my own checked bag and not have someone else lifting it for me.
It's going to be a fabulous trip, 6 weeks and a couple of days for me. My brother is going along as well as my friends Chipp and Rod. Chipp is staying close to 3 weeks and has not gone with me over there since 2006 so he is also very pumped to be going. It will be Rod's first trip and he will be there for 2 weeks. I will get to be a tour guide. Also, I am throwing a party in my favorite pub of all, the wonderful, ever-magnificent Irish House in Aalborg on May 7th. The owner and I are friends and he will give me a little discount. We'll have Irish stew and brews in the cellar and I hope to have around 25 family and friends there. I might bill it as the "Fu** Cancer Party." A few months back, I was not sure I'd ever be able to go over to Denmark again or if I'd even be alive, but the cancer hasn't gotten me yet. I'm doing a number on it, instead.
Some other cool things I plan to do when I am back in my ancestral lands include a wine tasting in a castle, touring another castle and the northernmost manor home in the country, and visiting Skagen, the top of Denmark, where you can stand on a little patch of beach and have one foot in one sea and one in another. They also have a brewpub up there I am wanting to check out. I will start and end my trip in Aalborg and spend 5 weeks in an apartment I rent that is very close to the beach. I can hardly wait for May 4th to roll around! [Reply]
In keeping with his positive, moving forward style instead of mourning I think there is a way to honor him.
We had some private conversations about cancer and some things a small cancer related organization I'm affiliated with do. We discussed and I asked his input on some of the things our group has done.
Ed expressed to me that the idea of providing iPads to be used by those during chemo treatments would be great. He said he used his playing backgammon, games and browsing here as great distractions.
Maybe each of us or as a group could identify his local treatment center, or the one closest to ourselves and donate iPads or care packages with things like gas cards etc to be provided to those fighting that asshole, cancer. Just an idea.
If nothing else, throw some coins to your local cancer related foundations.
RIP Ed. This makes me wish the stories of the Flying Spaghetti Monster were true, a eternal place of beer volcanoes and free hookers has a great appeal and would be a well deserved place for your final destination.
it's hard to watch a friend or family member approach death under any circumstances, but ed showed us that it is possible to live exceedingly well to the very end...
i have never seen (ok, read) a more inspiring drama unfold in real time, so to speak...
i smiled with ed when he chatted up those pretty danish girls in the bar...
i laughed with ed when he described some of his adventures over there...
i sometimes stood in awe of ed, the things he said and did in his final journey have touched so many of us in ways that we could never have imagined...
and tonight, i cry with tears of joy, although muted with grief, in appreciation of ed's life and his awesome gifts to those of us he loved, from all over the planet, and from all over that other (bigger) planet as well...
here's to a life well-lived, my friend, rip... :-):-):-) [Reply]
Originally Posted by Dave Lane:
RIP Ed. This makes me wish the stories of the Flying Spaghetti Monster were true, a eternal place of beer volcanoes and free hookers has a great appeal and would be a well deserved place for your final destination.
This was a great story left to us by Lonewolf Ed.
Unfortunately, not all stories have a happy ending and all of us will eventually meet our ending.
Ed's positive attitude throughout his journey and the fact that he defeated his colon cancer, made me feel like he went out a winner. A total fuckin' boss.
The liver cancer was his ending and I think he knew it would be, yet, He didn't seem to care. One way or another he was going to win. His death ultimately killed the cancer and that was his mindset through the hardest of times.
I'm glad his suffering is over and I'm glad he shared so much.
Rest in peace. [Reply]
Originally Posted by Buck:
I've never experienced reading someone who was so unfazed by impending death. I'm sure it wasn't easy, but that guy was really good at dying.
RIP Ed.
I know what you meant Buck, but actually Ed was really good at living in spite of the hand he was dealt. IMO That's what he wanted us to take away from this, appreciate the little things.
RIP Ed and I'm glad your suffering is over. [Reply]
Originally Posted by Lonewolf Ed:
As a young man, you're most likely not quite sure of things. My 20s were a disaster overall with self esteem and confidence. But, despite that, I was growing into a man who was discovering things about himself and how to live my life as a good man. My big sis, not a blood relation but the sister of my best friend who was killed at the age of 12 in a car crash, has two children, a boy and a girl. Their dad just couldn't relate to them as a father. As I spent time at the grandparents house the kids were there and quickly became very attached to me. The boy would cry hard whenever I left to go home, so I had to hold him for a few minutes until he fell asleep or just stopped crying. So, I found myself being their father figure for those early years.
That made me realize that if you can be a positive figure to a child, that was part of how I defined myself as a man. I was never phony with them; I drank beer, I went to silly topless bars, and such, but in dealing with children, it just isn't something we should discuss. One of my finest memories of the kids was when they were playing on the deck with the boy's toy cars and trucks. Chance had two fire trucks, one red and one green. He was playing with the red one and then got a different toy. Lenzi played with the truck he was playing with before switching to something else. He didn't like it so a tug-o-war ensued. I stepped and said, "Stop this and share. Lenzi can play with it but she isn't stealing your toy. If you keep this up, it's naptime for the both of you." He let her play with the red truck and then they both said, "You're a good daddy." My heart turned into a giant glob of melting butter. I also realized that I needed them as much as they needed me.
So, to sum it up, look within yourself, think about how you can do things to mold yourself into a good man, discover your values and beliefs and that is what will shape you into the man you want to be. It's happening right now with the question you posed. You are defining yourself not only for yourself but how others will see you. Being young, I assume early 20s, you are so lucky. Building your character, finding your values and your inner strength is a beautiful time in life. Don't forget to have fun along the way and revel in joyful moments. Build your experiences; go on a buddy road tip, take a vacation over seas and immerse yourself in a different culture. You will learn a lot from getting out and having experiences which will increase your knowledge. Wisdom will follow suit, but it often tends to lag behind in the race. Don't sweat the small stuff. Instead rise above it until the storm passes. When you do make a mistake, learn from it and don't bang your head against a wall. I have let go of regrets which has helped me keep my peace of mind. If I knew then what I know now, my 20s would have been much more pleasant, but we don't get to press the reset button. I don't sit and wring my hands over how things went in my 20s because time always marches on, so I just have to accept it and live in the here and now. I feel good about myself.
I'll wrap up the rant now and say enjoy the journey you are on, live well and in good health. Thank you for reaching out to me. I never dreamed I could touch people's lives as I have been doing, but it has been giving me great joy. It is very humbling and I cannot express how grateful I am to you all for all you are giving to me.
