The book is a Bill Bryson-style travel memoir of me getting into stupid and sometimes dangerous situations driving from Los Angeles to Panama, including getting stuck on the wrong side of Nicaragua during the uprising of 2018. It also contains a ton of historical information on ancient Mesoamerica and some of the modern politics of Central America—basically, anything that piqued my interest in the year+ I spent researching. Also, I eat a lot of delicious food.
Anyone curious about this part of the world should get a lot out of the book as part of a hopefully funny, entertaining read. I hope you enjoy!
I better post this before I get banned for welching on my bet and posting in DC. If I'm banned and anyone wants to go for any part of the trip - PM flopnuts or BRC - they know me on twoplustwo.com and can contact me. More eyes and ears are always welcome. I've got one guy who wants to go - but he'd have to quit his job, so obviously nothing is guaranteed.
I just got back from a photo trip in Patagonia, where we drove a lot. I LOVE the region and South America in general. Never been to Central America but I've had some great trips in Mexico.
I have two jobs and I'm sick of both. I don't think the side job will last much longer, and the day job is about done for me. I probably need to stick it out until the end of year to get my bonus and pay off some 401(k) loans. But unless I get plugged into some interesting projects - I'm gone. I figure there has to be some advantage to dying alone with no kids. This would be the adventure of my life. I'd try to live-blog it as much as possible.
Our photo tour guide from the Patagonia trip is planning a 20-day partial boat tour next May that he's calling "an expedition". We'll get into some fjords in Southern Chile that hardly any one's ever been to - much less landscape photographers. So that's my parameter - be in Patagonia by mid-May.
I've done some cursory research, and it seems pretty doable.
You have to ship your car across the Darien Gap - which is a PITA.
Very rough plan is to drive to Cabo, then take the ferry from La Paz to Mazatlan. Then head South. I'd probably zip across El Salvador and Honduras as fast as possible, enjoy myself in Costa Rica and maybe Nicaragua. I've been to Peru, Columbia, Chile and Argentina and know they're pretty safe. I feel like I'd want to avoid driving in Brazil, Venezuela (govt might seize my car) or the Guyanas. Paraguay, Uruguay, Bolivia should be fine. I know not to drive at night in sketchy places and find secure parking for my car.
I plan to mostly camp and stay in hostels. I can sleep in my car in a pinch. Maybe splurge on a hotel when I want some extra security for my car. On the way back I may either sell my car or ship to LA or Florida from Colombia.
Prerequisites:
Must learn reasonable conversational Spanish. I know a lot of words but no sentences, etc. I am using this online thing called duolingo. Looking for an an immersion program in LA. There are some Spanish classes by me but they don't start right away.
Lose at least 30 lbs. At 257 - I'm 40-50 lbs over-weight right now. It's just no fun in a lot of ways. I won't enjoy myself unless I get below 230. Plus I hope to get laid a decent amount with my fun story and mad Spanish skillz.
Maximize my social media footprint so hopefully the blog picks up some traction and has a lot of viewers. IE - finish photo website (pretending to sell photos), get active in 500px (2p2 for photographers), start blogging, get active on forum for people doing these driving adventures (forget the name), FJ Cruiser forums, Instagram.
Figure out what modifications if any I want to do to my car. A flat roof rack with a pop-up tent seems really cool. But as I'm going to be jobless maybe I should think about limiting spending. Or maybe some kind of hidden compartment to hide camera gear/computers/etc?
Research, get permits, visas etc. ahead of time.
Big question is whether or not to take my FJ Cruiser or buy an Outback or something for $5k:
Pros:
Great car, nice and high so I can see things developing.
Built like a tank to protect me in a crash.
Can get into fun places like camping on the beach.
I pan to blog the whole thing - so me and my FJ is a fun angle. Me and my Camry lacks the same zing.
Cons:
Everyone says try not to draw attention to yourself. Big ginger beard with CA plates in that car does the exact opposite. (I'm hoping people will think I'm ex-military or something lol)
I am stupidly emotionally attached to my car, and have put some customizations into it. It's got 100k miles so it could easily last me another 10 years. I really would have a hard time selling it at the end, even though supposedly you can get good money in Brazil. Also I know there's a very real probability it doesn't come back from being totaled, or stolen. I have to be ok with that.
15 miles to the gallon/15 gallon tank (yeah wtf) - but I figure I can carry extra tanks.
Any thoughts or advice is mucho appreciated.
I am fine with the idea that I could have everything stolen and have to limp back with my tail between my legs. You don't have an adventure w/o risking something. If I get killed I had a good life. My biggest fears are getting kidnapped or paralyzed in a car wreck. Both seem fairly low probability. [Reply]
Originally Posted by Easy 6:
Agreed, this thread was a serious piece of work by suzzer
He documented it like a genuine blogger with tons of well written reports from locale's large and small, tons of great pics illustrating it all
And I'm proud of my spreadsheet-tracked research when I put together a ~10 day domestic road trip. :-)
I personally love planning trips and can't imagine how many hours I'd spend on something like this... it's truly remarkable, along with all of the little tips you pick up online, like what to say and do at the borders and generally how not to get yourself killed. [Reply]
Originally Posted by Bearcat:
And I'm proud of my spreadsheet-tracked research when I put together a ~10 day domestic road trip. :-)
I personally love planning trips and can't imagine how many hours I'd spend on something like this... it's truly remarkable, along with all of the little tips you pick up online, like what to say and do at the borders and generally how not to get yourself killed.
I'm the opposite. I'd freewheel the whole thing. [Reply]
Originally Posted by Bearcat:
And I'm proud of my spreadsheet-tracked research when I put together a ~10 day domestic road trip. :-)
I personally love planning trips and can't imagine how many hours I'd spend on something like this... it's truly remarkable, along with all of the little tips you pick up online, like what to say and do at the borders and generally how not to get yourself killed.
Seriously, he's like our very own roving National Geographic adventurer
Originally Posted by eDave:
I'm the opposite. I'd freewheel the whole thing.
I like the build up of researching everything there is to do and there's part of me that would hate going somewhere internationally and later finding out there was some amazingness I had missed. I've found live music and what not that I never would have known existed by just going to that destination, or with things you have to book 3 months in advance.
That said, I never go the route of planning out each day unless I really have to (like on a huge road trip where you're really trying to knock out so many miles/day).
I'll data gather all of the things to do, great places to eat, and so forth... and all of those things are just options, so I don't stress out about "being on schedule" or anything.
Something like this that's over months would be the perfect way to explore the world... I think the bulk of my research for a trip like this would be around staying alive and border crossings and shipping my car, but then you're in each country for days or weeks and can figure out what to do from there. [Reply]
Originally Posted by Bearcat:
Yep, all you need is reliable internet and a VPN. I've seen several programs where it looks like they go all out in trying to set you up with living arrangements and what not, but I don't mind just doing the research, either.... granted, with travel visas, I think it would be a different move every ~3-6 months, but that should be made up pretty easily with the differences in cost of living.
Maybe you guys have different jobs than I have had, but that would ruin my vacation. Especially if the cost per day on whatever destination would be.
Because I'm a number monkey and THAT'S what spreadsheets are used to track..... :-):-)oke:
Nonetheless, it would be really hard for me to enjoy a beach or whatever if I was prepping for my 7AM staff meeting at 6:30, Or if I was up late finishing an audit report, or trying to talk some fuckabilly through a troubleshooting problem on my tenderer, or whatever.
I get that you can compartmentalize parts of your life. But it would take a different work structure than I have ever had, certainly different than what I have now. [Reply]
Originally Posted by Buehler445:
Maybe you guys have different jobs than I have had, but that would ruin my vacation. Especially if the cost per day on whatever destination would be.
Because I'm a number monkey and THAT'S what spreadsheets are used to track..... :-):-)oke:
Nonetheless, it would be really hard for me to enjoy a beach or whatever if I was prepping for my 7AM staff meeting at 6:30, Or if I was up late finishing an audit report, or trying to talk some fuckabilly through a troubleshooting problem on my tenderer, or whatever.
I get that you can compartmentalize parts of your life. But it would take a different work structure than I have ever had, certainly different than what I have now.
I've thought about that some, especially overseas. I might have to be online everyday from say, 4pm-1am... and while I have better work-life balance these days, would I be able to turn off and go to bed so I'm not completely screwing my chances at normal weekend hours, or am I getting called at 2 or 3am because it's only 5-6pm in the states...... and am I just too fucking old for that shit. :-)
And while I think I'm pretty decent at compartmentalization, I totally get it... hell, I was at game 7 of the WS in 2014 and got called multiple times from work. And to top it off, it was right when Bum came in and the Royals had their chance. The world wasn't burning down, so it was one of the very few times I just let it go (not like I could have heard anything anyway), but still had to check email real quick and had to do everything possible to shut down the part of my brain that was screaming JFC, why now?!? Do they really need me? No, StFU brain, the Royals need me!
So yeah, it would take a shift in mindset for sure... and I think the ~3-6 month visas would be great for that, too, so the novelty of one place doesn't really have time to wear off, while still having plenty of time to settle into the culture and do all the things. [Reply]
Originally Posted by Bearcat:
I've thought about that some, especially overseas. I might have to be online everyday from say, 4pm-1am... and while I have better work-life balance these days, would I be able to turn off and go to bed so I'm not completely screwing my chances at normal weekend hours, or am I getting called at 2 or 3am because it's only 5-6pm in the states...... and am I just too fucking old for that shit. :-)
And while I think I'm pretty decent at compartmentalization, I totally get it... hell, I was at game 7 of the WS in 2014 and got called multiple times from work. And to top it off, it was right when Bum came in and the Royals had their chance. The world wasn't burning down, so it was one of the very few times I just let it go (not like I could have heard anything anyway), but still had to check email real quick and had to do everything possible to shut down the part of my brain that was screaming JFC, why now?!? Do they really need me? No, StFU brain, the Royals need me!
So yeah, it would take a shift in mindset for sure... and I think the ~3-6 month visas would be great for that, too, so the novelty of one place doesn't really have time to wear off, while still having plenty of time to settle into the culture and do all the things.
Yeah.
It would be a stretch for me anyway, I’m a bit of a homebody, but even pre-kids and real life, there would have been a very real calculation of cost vs perceived marginal utility. And I have a hard time believing I could get there from a value perspective. Let me rephrase - I don’t know how much money I’d have to have to make the equation skew towards the side of vacationing. But it’s a lot more than I have now. [Reply]
I never did write that Best Of blog, but I'm actually writing a travel memoir about this right now - covid has been a big help with all the extra free time. I'm in El Salvador in the book, almost to Honduras. The main theme is about these great Mesoamerican civilizations and ruins in our backyard that they barely teach us about in school in the US. I've hired Ed Barnhart, a renowned expert PhD in ancient American cultures as a fact-checker and consultant.
As soon as I get the first draft done I'm going to put the wheels in motion to sell my condo and become a semi-retired nomad for a while. I might still pick up some programming work remotely, maybe play some poker for money along the way, and maybe the book actually sells - which would be amazing. I don't want to completely retire, but I don't want a 9-5 again. I always gain 30 lbs. every time I get a new job, then spend years trying to lose it.
My goal is to do as much of the world as I possibly can in my FJ Cruiser - probably starting up with South America, then ship from Chile to NZ/Australia, then Asia and work my way over to Africa (you could actually safely go down one side of Africa and back up the other until Ethiopia decided to have a civil war), then finally Europe and come back and do a victory lap around the US and Canada. But covid may change the order of things
I plan to write a book about each section and I will keep up the blog as a my journal basically. In a dream scenario the books actually sell some and fund the trip.
Here's the cover so far. I'll probably tweak it some but I like it. It's based loosely on the Simpsons episode where Homer eats the insanity pepper.
Originally Posted by eDave:
I'm the opposite. I'd freewheel the whole thing.
If you completely freewheel you could wind up in Cabo and have to fly or drive all the way back to Ensenada to get your TIP (vehicle import permit) so you can take the ferry to the Mexico mainland - as happened to a guy I met.
Some planning is definitely required is my point. But yeah - I freewheeled a lot of it, which is a lot easier in your own car where you can just look at a crooked road on the map and decide to go. Obviously you also want to make sure you're not in cartel country or something. So again - some planning needed there too.
It's like that quote by Eisenhower about that plans are worthless, but planning is everything. [Reply]
I'm not sure if this was available to you at the time, but you can add a cool google translate widget to your phone that picks up your conversation and will translate spanish to english and then your english to spanish. I've used it multiple times with my roofing crew lol. [Reply]
Good bump, I followed this as Suzzer went along. It's an interesting way to travel for sure. Ewan McGregor and Charley Boorland did the South America trip from the bottom up to Los Angeles on electric Harleys in 2019. It's part of their Long Way series that include "...Around" from London to NY from west to east and "...Down" that went along the coast of Africa on conventional motorcycles. Episodes are on Apple TV if anyone wants to check it out.
Good luck on your book Suzzer and keep us informed of future endeavors. [Reply]
It would be a stretch for me anyway, I’m a bit of a homebody, but even pre-kids and real life, there would have been a very real calculation of cost vs perceived marginal utility. And I have a hard time believing I could get there from a value perspective. Let me rephrase - I don’t know how much money I’d have to have to make the equation skew towards the side of vacationing. But it’s a lot more than I have now.
Yeah, for me it would mean eliminating all recurring costs here, so either selling my house or renting it out, and then finding a cheap solution for storing stuff.... the goal would be living for less, or breaking even at worst. [Reply]
