Originally Posted by Tribal Warfare:
So did you slip some internet dick into her :-)
You tell me.
Originally Posted by :
bfett81: plus he was obsessed with dicks...and that's just plain strange
bfett81's bitch: haha
She likes it rough.
Originally Posted by :
bfett81's bitch: no no
bfett81's bitch: it doesn't hurt my stomach
bfett81's bitch: or the muscles
bfett81's bitch: it's not BURN
bfett81: so what is it?
bfett81's bitch: my tailbone
HAWT
Originally Posted by :
bfett81: surprise!
bfett81's bitch: oh goodness
bfett81's bitch: haha
bfett81: yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
bfett81: say it
Originally Posted by Phobia:
Oh man, you're right. I should have asked her if she would let me buy her a drink sometime.
hāt is probably ashamed that she went to all that work and you rejected her, so she'll probably want to take it slow for now on. A few months of chatting online should do the trick. [Reply]
OK. She opened up a bit. And of course, she initiated it this time. That's because she's hot for me.
PART ONE
ILOVEGOCHIEFS:hey bfett81:how's it goin? ILOVEGOCHIEFS:eh ok bfett81:tired? ILOVEGOCHIEFS:how have you been? ILOVEGOCHIEFS:not really bfett81:im good, but a little tired myself bfett81:don't mind staying up to chat with you though :-D ILOVEGOCHIEFS:oh well if you need to head to bed you can...I actually didn't realize how latae it was bfett81:nah im actually working on some stuff bfett81:you can keep me company bfett81:but be warned, the S on my keyboard is sticking, so I might appear illiterate at times ILOVEGOCHIEFS:haha that's ok ILOVEGOCHIEFS:I won't hold it against you since I've seen how you type before ILOVEGOCHIEFS: :-P bfett81:i won a spelling bee in the 6th grade bfett81:i knew then that a lifetime of incredible spelling was my destiny ILOVEGOCHIEFS:good deal bfett81:holy crap bfett81:a lesbian just messaged me on okcupid bfett81:freaky! ILOVEGOCHIEFS:hey! me too... ILOVEGOCHIEFS:well like 2 days ago bfett81:damn ILOVEGOCHIEFS:I'm getting bored with this site again bfett81:she must be a horny lesbian or something bfett81:was it "lesbianscreenname?" ILOVEGOCHIEFS:no bfett81:actually, wait bfett81:she's not a lesbian bfett81:her NEIGHBOR is a lesbian ILOVEGOCHIEFS:ooohhh ILOVEGOCHIEFS:so she's straight bfett81:you have any lesbo friends? ILOVEGOCHIEFS:not that i'm aware of bfett81:lmao bfett81:i used to think my sister was for the longest time ILOVEGOCHIEFS:really? bfett81:yeah, she didn't have a boyfriend ILOVEGOCHIEFS:eh doesn't always mean anything ILOVEGOCHIEFS:i didnt date till after high school bfett81:im talking into her mid 20s ILOVEGOCHIEFS:thats ok ILOVEGOCHIEFS:probably better that way sometimes bfett81:yeah? how so? ILOVEGOCHIEFS:I don't know drama can occur and i hate drama ILOVEGOCHIEFS:heartbreak.. ILOVEGOCHIEFS:insecurity ILOVEGOCHIEFS:and it just seems as you get older you know more... ILOVEGOCHIEFS:so waiting doesn't seem so bad bfett81:i chalk it all up to experience bfett81:you don't want to marry the first guy that comes along.... ILOVEGOCHIEFS:yeah that's true bfett81:you gotta shop around lol ILOVEGOCHIEFS:i have definitely shopped around ILOVEGOCHIEFS:and i'm tired of it bfett81: :-( ILOVEGOCHIEFS:what's bad about me is well many things ILOVEGOCHIEFS:but...for one I never get out to actually meet people, I have no self esteem, and if I'm not really dating the person I tend to get bored easily...but if I'm dating them I want to be around them as much as time allows bfett81:aw honey bfett81:why the low self esteem? bfett81:you're attractive, you're smart, you seem like a very nice person, you have ambition bfett81:i think you have every reason to have self esteem bfett81:you got really bad BO or something? :-\ bfett81:cus i can see how that would get ya down ILOVEGOCHIEFS:haha if I have bad BO no one has ever told me so I can fix the problem... bfett81:well you claim to never meet people...so how would anyone know? :-) ILOVEGOCHIEFS:but still I don't know I just often feel underappreciated and like there is always someone or something better out there for whoever ILOVEGOCHIEFS:I have friends bfett81:i was joking...lol bfett81:i have seriously never had a chick just throw her yahoo screen name at me immediately....i feel like a piece of meat ILOVEGOCHIEFS:haha ILOVEGOCHIEFS:well she must be interested bfett81:it was like BAM here's my yahoo im going out with my lesbian friend ILOVEGOCHIEFS:crazyness ILOVEGOCHIEFS:i had a guy fall asleep in the middle of our conversation the other day bfett81:i was like WHOA hold on there im not that cheap a date ILOVEGOCHIEFS:I'm THAT interesting bfett81:how late was it? ILOVEGOCHIEFS:I got off before 12 so...I don't know bfett81:at night? ILOVEGOCHIEFS:yeah bfett81:was he drinking? ILOVEGOCHIEFS:no ILOVEGOCHIEFS:not to my knowledge anyways bfett81:where was this? ILOVEGOCHIEFS:what do you mean? bfett81:where did the dude fall asleep? bfett81:restaurant/ bar? ILOVEGOCHIEFS:no on his couch bfett81:well, he was probably a jerk anyway bfett81:forget him ILOVEGOCHIEFS:yeah I don't care bfett81:attagirl bfett81:life's too short to worry about dudes who fall asleep in the middle of your conversat....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz bfett81:zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz ILOVEGOCHIEFS:you're crazy bfett81:*snrk* wha? wha? oh, hey! who are you, again? ILOVEGOCHIEFS:I can help you if you need it after all psychology was my minor bfett81:mmmm bfett81:i uh bfett81:i took that class in high school bfett81:yeah, im edumacated 'n stuff bfett81:um bfett81:FREUD!!! bfett81:great, now you fell asleep bfett81:am i really that boring? :-( ILOVEGOCHIEFS:no just didn't know what to say to freud bfett81:well he did have a tendency to pry... ILOVEGOCHIEFS:he was annoying
bfett81:yeah? bfett81:see, you're not boring, lauren...you probably know more about freud than most people bfett81:a lot of people would find that stuff interesting bfett81:you just have to find the right people ILOVEGOCHIEFS:someone who thinks that a child hates the parent of the same sex because they're jealous of their relationship with the other parent needs psychological help to me not be the one giving it bfett81:lol bfett81:that's pretty good bfett81:plus he was obsessed with dicks...and that's just plain strange ILOVEGOCHIEFS:haha bfett81:i hope i can say dicks around you...it's just not ladylike ILOVEGOCHIEFS:what the what is ladylike? ILOVEGOCHIEFS:haha ok sorry...you probably don't get that bfett81:a lot of chicks...don't like dudes who use a lot of foul language bfett81:oh..."what the what" ? bfett81:i figured it was some saying you had ILOVEGOCHIEFS:I don't like the "F" word and cussing in general can be annoying if it's used frequently but other than that eh bfett81:potty mouth potty mouth lauren is a potty mouth ILOVEGOCHIEFS:you will never hear me say anything worse than crap bfett81:lol bfett81:well my grandmothers are jehovah's witnesses bfett81:so they frown on that bfett81:one time my uncle literally said "hey now...we don't say that word" when I said "crap" once bfett81:and i was like....18 ILOVEGOCHIEFS:yeah my family isn't too into it either bfett81:you're such a bad girl bfett81:"CRAP" bfett81: =-O ILOVEGOCHIEFS:oh yes so bad that's me what can i say ILOVEGOCHIEFS:when in reality breaking the rules freaks me out bfett81:lmao bfett81:well to tell you the truth i love to obey the speed limit ILOVEGOCHIEFS:that is one that i tend to not do so well with ILOVEGOCHIEFS:i try and for the most part i'm good unless it's long distant high way driving bfett81:growing up a JW means...you really respect anything that has authority over you bfett81:i don't think i had a single beer in high school ILOVEGOCHIEFS:um neither did i bfett81:haha bfett81:hell I didn't go to my prom ILOVEGOCHIEFS:i did but basically dateless ILOVEGOCHIEFS:no one asked me bfett81: :-( ILOVEGOCHIEFS:to prom, homecoming all that jazz bfett81:you use facebook? bfett81:tons of fun looking up old classmates bfett81:you're quiet ILOVEGOCHIEFS:yeah bfett81:you're not boring lauren bfett81:i enjoy talking with you bfett81:don't feel bad just because you're not the life of the party bfett81:i'm not either, it's no big deal ILOVEGOCHIEFS:thanks bfett81:plenty of guys are attracted to the cute girl in the corner instead of the loud one dancing on the bar ILOVEGOCHIEFS:well that's good because i don't dance bfett81:lol yes i recall ILOVEGOCHIEFS:ah good bfett81:not even after three martinis? ILOVEGOCHIEFS:never had 3 ILOVEGOCHIEFS:but most likely not bfett81:i bet you WOULD get your groove on in the event of 3 martinis bfett81:and a thin layer of mazola covering the floor ILOVEGOCHIEFS:i have had more than 3 drinks in a night and still nothing bfett81:what got you into 'tinis anyway? ILOVEGOCHIEFS:?? bfett81:martinis ILOVEGOCHIEFS:I know... ILOVEGOCHIEFS:haha ILOVEGOCHIEFS:i can't remember bfett81:what else do you drink? or is that it? ILOVEGOCHIEFS:probably just trying different ones because they always sound yummy ILOVEGOCHIEFS:um I like madori sours ILOVEGOCHIEFS:cherry whiskey sours are ok as well ILOVEGOCHIEFS:but i'm into the real fruity sweet tasting stuff that it's hard to taste the alcohol bfett81:most girls are bfett81:i like schnapps bfett81:usually can't taste the burn ILOVEGOCHIEFS:hmm bfett81:plus, it's fun to say bfett81:shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhnawwwwwps ILOVEGOCHIEFS:sorry aim shutdown so if you said anything i didn't get it bfett81:the last thing i said was bfett81:bfett81:plus, it's fun to say bfett81:shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhnawwwwwps ILOVEGOCHIEFS:ah ILOVEGOCHIEFS:interesting bfett81:you get rained on today? ILOVEGOCHIEFS:yes bfett81:i like rain bfett81:it reminds me of scotland ILOVEGOCHIEFS:i like it if i'm not out in it bfett81:it used to rain like every day in scotland bfett81:i'd never get sick though ILOVEGOCHIEFS:that's cool ILOVEGOCHIEFS:i'm hungry :-(
bfett81:what's in the fridge? ILOVEGOCHIEFS:nothing that i want ILOVEGOCHIEFS:i don't want anything bfett81:got any celery? ILOVEGOCHIEFS:no bfett81:celery + PB burns more calories being digested than you take on eating it bfett81:clay's fun food fact for the evening ILOVEGOCHIEFS:yeah i love celery bfett81:celery + hot wings + bleu cheese = mmm ILOVEGOCHIEFS:ew bfett81:oh yeah bfett81:spicy = bad for you ILOVEGOCHIEFS:well not too into spicy but hot wings and bleu cheese in general bfett81:i eat it during football season ILOVEGOCHIEFS:sounds like a football season food bfett81:mhm ILOVEGOCHIEFS:i've just been eatin too much lately and not getting enough exercise ILOVEGOCHIEFS:and here it is midnight i have to fight the hunger i'm about to go to bed. WORST time to eat bfett81:drink some water ILOVEGOCHIEFS:that requires getting up bfett81:lol bfett81:rice cakes FTW bfett81:i thought your whole deal was eating as much as an ethiopian or something? ILOVEGOCHIEFS:huh? bfett81:remember? the other day you were all "i don't eat much" ILOVEGOCHIEFS:yeah bfett81:meh, forget it bfett81:what do you do for exercise? ILOVEGOCHIEFS:used to play tennis everyday bfett81:oh yeah ILOVEGOCHIEFS:then when i was in college it was walking up and down hills to go to class ILOVEGOCHIEFS:and now an occasional run on the treadmill bfett81:no weights? ILOVEGOCHIEFS:not really ILOVEGOCHIEFS:i sometimes use a medicine ball ILOVEGOCHIEFS:trying to firm up the tummy but it hurts me bfett81:that mean it's working bfett81:gah! THE S KEY! ILOVEGOCHIEFS:no no ILOVEGOCHIEFS:it doesn't hurt my stomach ILOVEGOCHIEFS:or the muscles ILOVEGOCHIEFS:it's not BURN bfett81:so what is it? ILOVEGOCHIEFS:my tailbone bfett81:ahhhh ILOVEGOCHIEFS:i had surgery on it a few years ago and sometimes it still bugs me bfett81:ouch ILOVEGOCHIEFS:sitting in one position for very long can do it as well bfett81:the only real way to firm up your tummy is to burn fat you know bfett81:you can have ripped stomach muscles under the fat and it won't be readily apparent bfett81:can't really target fat loss either ILOVEGOCHIEFS:i don't want to be "ripped" ILOVEGOCHIEFS:i just want to have it tightened bfett81:eh, i'm talking out my butt anyway lol bfett81:i just do crunches and try to run my ass off bfett81:speaking of ripped...have you been following the olympics? ILOVEGOCHIEFS:some bfett81:michael phelps bfett81:did you see what he eats every day? ILOVEGOCHIEFS:nope what does he eat bfett81:lmao bfett81:this is gonna gross you out bfett81:he eats 12K calories a day bfett81:http://sports.yahoo.com/olympics/beijing/blog/fourth_place_medal/post/Michael-Phelps? urn=oly,100671 ILOVEGOCHIEFS:he reminds me of a friend of mine in maui bfett81:and not good ones, either bfett81:what did your maui friend eat? ILOVEGOCHIEFS:anything and everything ILOVEGOCHIEFS:he's a surfer now but was a swimmer in college ILOVEGOCHIEFS:i guess they need to burn something... bfett81:yeah bfett81:you spend that many hrs in the pool ILOVEGOCHIEFS:yep ILOVEGOCHIEFS:i know swimming makes me incredibly hungry bfett81:that "wait 30 minutes thing" is BS, you know bfett81:you can get cramps like an hour later ILOVEGOCHIEFS:oh well bfett81:i can tell you're tired now ILOVEGOCHIEFS:i can't type anymore ILOVEGOCHIEFS:i hate when that happens bfett81:it's ok bfett81:it's no big deal lol bfett81:you worry alot, don't you? bfett81:brb ILOVEGOCHIEFS:ok. bfett81:you made me hungry ILOVEGOCHIEFS:i'm sorry bfett81:lol bfett81:DON'T DO IT AGAIN! ILOVEGOCHIEFS:ok ok I'll try bfett81:i am joking...you know? ILOVEGOCHIEFS:yes...so was i bfett81:oh bfett81:you sucked me in ILOVEGOCHIEFS:haha bfett81:DAMN YOU ILOVEGOCHIEFS:i'm a pretty saracastic person for the most part bfett81:yeah? bfett81:really? ILOVEGOCHIEFS:nope just felt like saying that bfett81:wait, so you aren't? bfett81:WAIT ILOVEGOCHIEFS:oh goodness bfett81:DAMMIT bfett81:NO REALLY I'M SMART ILOVEGOCHIEFS:AHUH ILOVEGOCHIEFS:you have me convinced bfett81:but seriously, i hadn't figured you for the sarcastic type ILOVEGOCHIEFS:why? bfett81:well, you're shy bfett81:reportedly ILOVEGOCHIEFS:only in the beginning
bfett81:ohhhhhhhhhhh bfett81:so this IS interesting ILOVEGOCHIEFS:did you not read my profile? bfett81:dear diary bfett81:today i learned lauren is actually KIND OF COOL ILOVEGOCHIEFS:or wait..you may have not looked at it since i updated all that bfett81:and has a real personality bfett81:mood: excited! bfett81:maybe not ILOVEGOCHIEFS:hey now be nice bfett81:sorry bfett81:i don't mean to be mean ILOVEGOCHIEFS:I'm kind of cool because I'm sarcastic? bfett81:totally bfett81:you don't think it's a redeeming personality quirk? ILOVEGOCHIEFS:i don't know ILOVEGOCHIEFS:The last guy I dated made a comment on our first date... ILOVEGOCHIEFS:i was trying so hard no to say anything because after all it was our first date didn't want to appear rude ILOVEGOCHIEFS:but anyways he was telling this story and saying his brother-in-law blah blah whatever he said and then he was like yeah he's my brother-in-law he's married to my sister ILOVEGOCHIEFS:oooohhh had to bite the tongue so hard on that one bfett81:lol ILOVEGOCHIEFS:and i was about to say something but he caught what he said and said something first bfett81::-) bfett81:that's great bfett81:most guys bfett81:at least IMO bfett81:probably wouldn't get offended over that bfett81:at least if you're not dating niles crane or something bfett81:or an english butler from the 18th century ILOVEGOCHIEFS:yeah ILOVEGOCHIEFS:i tend to throw out jokes about myself own stupdity as well bfett81:.... ILOVEGOCHIEFS:i don't know, I know you think I'm a red head and not a blonde.. bfett81:tee hee ILOVEGOCHIEFS:but there was one time I was on a date...and I had to tell him how to go...he was directionally challenged... ILOVEGOCHIEFS:but anyways i knew the street we needed to turn on and i was staring at the one way sign thinking wait we can't turn down that way it's the next street and then i realized it was the right street after we passed it and told him i was sorry just having a blonde moment ILOVEGOCHIEFS:that one might be harder to understand... bfett81:lol bfett81:well, I'm technically blonde too, so I guess I get it ILOVEGOCHIEFS:no i mean you had to be there type deals to actually get it bfett81:i mean, i've seen blonder girls bfett81:but first impression bfett81:was not blonde ILOVEGOCHIEFS:i'm dirty blonde ILOVEGOCHIEFS:darks with the lights bfett81:wow, that was like, a huge burst of spontaneous conversation from lauren...lol bfett81:let me recover ILOVEGOCHIEFS:yeah yeah bfett81:lol i won't give you too much crap over it, sorry bfett81:but it was fun :-) ILOVEGOCHIEFS:good bfett81:i don't see anything about sarcasm here ILOVEGOCHIEFS:sorry ILOVEGOCHIEFS:entire conversations cannot be based on sarcasm bfett81:no, on your profile ILOVEGOCHIEFS:i didn't say anything about sacarsm that's not what i was referring to ILOVEGOCHIEFS:i meant that i'm only quiet in the beginning bfett81:ahhhh bfett81:i am going to take bfett81:the commonly confused words test ILOVEGOCHIEFS:ok have fun bfett81:i better kick it's ass because otherwise bfett81:i would look very dumb ILOVEGOCHIEFS:haha bfett81:especially if ILOVEGOCHIEFS:what was my score? bfett81:advanced bfett81:if i lose out to you bfett81:i will be upset ILOVEGOCHIEFS:ok i couldn't remember what the word was ILOVEGOCHIEFS:why? can't take being beaten by a girl? bfett81:because I'M WAY SMARTER! ILOVEGOCHIEFS:ahuh bfett81:oh these questions bfett81:either a or b bfett81:lame lol ILOVEGOCHIEFS:yeah it was an easy test not gonna lie bfett81:my publisher bfett81:cannot properly use ILOVEGOCHIEFS:and it actually drives me crazy when some of those words are misused bfett81:you're your and you are interchangeably bfett81:not to mention bfett81:there their and they're bfett81:he drives me batty ILOVEGOCHIEFS:it would me too bfett81:what's worse is AP style rules bfett81:oooh, punctuation bfett81: =-O ILOVEGOCHIEFS:what about punctuation? bfett81:the test bfett81:i was all bfett81:YEAH! PUNCTUATION! ILOVEGOCHIEFS:i don't remember bfett81:high five! bfett81:navel/naval lol bfett81:navel travel makes me sick to my stomach! bfett81:sounds kinky ILOVEGOCHIEFS:ew bfett81:OH bfett81:I feel smart bfett81:check my result bfett81:ego boosted ILOVEGOCHIEFS:good i'm glad you feel smart ILOVEGOCHIEFS:what was your result? bfett81:go check bfett81:it shows at the bottom of myprofile bfett81:it's a bfett81:surprise! ILOVEGOCHIEFS:oh goodness ILOVEGOCHIEFS:haha bfett81:yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah bfett81:say it ILOVEGOCHIEFS:say what? bfett81:english... bfett81:sorry, im dumb lol bfett81:genius! bfett81:woo bfett81:well done, me ILOVEGOCHIEFS:haha bfett81:daily affirmation bfett81:im good enough ILOVEGOCHIEFS:well that's good because i don't like those that can't use english properly bfett81:im smart enough bfett81:and gosh darn it bfett81:im an english genius bfett81:i need to get that bfett81:on a certificate bfett81:this is to certify ILOVEGOCHIEFS:haha bfett81:that clay bfett81:is an bfett81:ENGLISH GENIUS ILOVEGOCHIEFS:I have some welcome certificates you can write on it welcome to the world of genius bfett81:and it would have a little button on the frame bfett81:that played a fanfare ILOVEGOCHIEFS:oh wow you're crazy bfett81:pretty much bfett81:maybe like bfett81:a neon frame bfett81:that might be too garish, though ILOVEGOCHIEFS:so not just a litlte tacky but a lot bfett81:no, you're right bfett81:maybe just stick with a chestnut bfett81:and some nice glass ILOVEGOCHIEFS:sounds better bfett81:ill take the button off bfett81:and hire ILOVEGOCHIEFS:i'm all about the class bfett81:a full brass section bfett81:to stand guard bfett81:then when someone walks by bfett81:they can play ILOVEGOCHIEFS:yes that will be MUCH cheaper than a button bfett81:they'll be nattily attired in fine tuxedos bfett81:not rentals, neither bfett81:take heart, though bfett81:you beat me on beginner bfett81:i got 93 percent, you got 100 ILOVEGOCHIEFS:great bfett81:ENGLISH GENIUS* bfett81:*was beaten on beginner level ILOVEGOCHIEFS:haha ILOVEGOCHIEFS:see it's just a fluke bfett81:in very, very fine print ILOVEGOCHIEFS:well ILOVEGOCHIEFS:i think i need to head to bed bfett81:permission granted ILOVEGOCHIEFS:ok ILOVEGOCHIEFS:have a nice night/day tomorrow bfett81:see you around, lauren bfett81: :-) ILOVEGOCHIEFS:all righty ILOVEGOCHIEFS:night [Reply]
