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Hall of Classics>The Declaration Of Independence, MO - The People vs. Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel
Hammock Parties 02:57 AM 07-21-2012
The Declaration Of Independence, MO


The People vs. Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel


When in the course of football events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the fandom bands which have connected them with a Quarterback, and to assume among the Powers of the NFL, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Football and of the NFL's Goodell entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all Quarterbacks are not created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain Unalienable Talents, that among these are Arm Strength, Accuracy and the Pursuit of Championships.

That to secure these talents, Quarterbacks are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the Consent of the Fanbase, That whenever any Form of Quarterback becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Quarterbacks, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Attendance At Arrowhead and Hope For A Championship.

Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Quarterbacks Long Established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably The Same Offense evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to Throw Off Such Quarterbacks, and to provide new Guards (however, neither left nor right) for their Future Rooting Interests.

Such has been the patient sufferance of these Chiefs Fans; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Offense. The history of the present Quarterback is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an Absolute Run-First Offense over the State of Missouri.


To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.


Cassel 3:16


Spoiler!


Playoff Teams Beat Cassel At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Winning Teams Beat Cassel At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Cassel Lacks Deep Passing Ability


Spoiler!


Cassel Makes Offensive Linemen Worse


Spoiler!


Cassel Struggles Against Good Defenses At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Cassel Struggles Against Elite Quarterbacks At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!



We, therefore, the Representatives of the United States of Chiefs Fans, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme GM of Arrowhead for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Chiefs, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Chiefs fans are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent of Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel.

That they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the Patriot Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of New England, is and ought to be totally dissolved.

And that as Free and Independent Chiefs Fans, they have full Power to levy Boos, conclude Peace, contract Alliances with Dwayne Bowe, establish Commerce with Top Five Picks, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent Fans may of right do.

And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Playoff Fortunes and our Sacred Fandom.


SIGN BELOW


This post made possible by SNR, Coogs and
The Gang Of 14.
Statistics compiled by ESPN, PFF and PFR

Dedicated to 'Hamas' Jenkins, our Patrick Henry, who said "Give Me Sanchez, Or Give Me Death."









For further details, please review
The Pioli Facts.

The Declaration has been updated with statistics from 2012 and FINALIZED. Remove Matt Cassel from Kansas City. FOREVER.

[Reply]
RealSNR 01:53 AM 07-23-2012
Originally Posted by Pawnmower:
We sweep the Fade in 2012.

You heard it here 1st.
We've definitely got the offensive line to do it this year.

This IS, the AFC West, though. And I know how much this Chiefs team loves to lose to inferior division opponents. These ain't Marty's boys
[Reply]
splatbass 03:13 AM 07-23-2012
Originally Posted by milkman:
This isn't a court of law.

We all know that Cassel is inaccurate, so to draw the conclusion that he is making inaccurate throws that Baldwin has to adjust to is not making some huge leap.

Seriously, serving on a jury and talking about football?

You actually are going there?

Holy shit.

:-)

What a ****ing dumbass.
I can't believe you guys are arguing for making assumptions without any facts. I guess on CP reason is a bad thing.
[Reply]
BoneKrusher 05:23 AM 07-23-2012
Originally Posted by Pawnmower:
Because they don't take their advice or opinions from a guy who writes manifestos and doodles around with photoshop in his mother's basement?

I know you are not the brightest guy in the world, but god damn.....seriously?
seriously.
if you would get your head out of Pioli and Cassels ass for just a few minutes you might figure out whats goin on.
[Reply]
bevischief 07:09 AM 07-23-2012
:-)
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 07:47 AM 07-23-2012
Third and 8? Better throw 5 yards short of the sticks.


[Reply]
whoman69 07:47 AM 07-23-2012
Originally Posted by Pawnmower:
Because they don't take their advice or opinions from a guy who writes manifestos and doodles around with photoshop in his mother's basement?

I know you are not the brightest guy in the world, but god damn.....seriously?
I don't think anybody has the delusion that any of the Chiefs organization is reading this. Its not why we are posting. Its a statement to other fans about how we feel the front office is letting us down. This team is never going to get anywhere with Matt Cassel.

The more realistic expectation is that if the groundswell is big enough then it gets to the local media and filtered to the organization. If you really think that we are only posting to have our day in court with Pioli and Hunt, you shouldn't even be posting here.
[Reply]
Dayze 07:52 AM 07-23-2012
sadly, I don't think any of the local medial has the stones to even bring up the information identified in Clay's OP.They're too far up the collective butts of Pioli/Hunt etc.

we can only hope someone nationally gets it/link out there.
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 07:59 AM 07-23-2012
Legend has it Cassel never had time to throw against the Ravens.

Note: Charles and Bowe bailed Cassel out on this by forcing and recovering a fumble on the same play.




[Reply]
Hammock Parties 08:12 AM 07-23-2012
Pants full of shit? Better intentionally ground dat ball!



Now that I've fucked us over, and it's 2nd and 20, I'll just make it worse by holding the ball way too long, and having no idea about the concept of a pass rush. Note: First Ravens sack in over 100 pass plays.


[Reply]
Hammock Parties 08:38 AM 07-23-2012
Under extreme duress, with no time to throw, Cassel is intercepted because of an amazing play by the defender.



Also, I wonder if anyone else was open on this play. Here I have done you the Curtis-y of screencapping a key moment.



Whee!


[Reply]
Hammock Parties 08:51 AM 07-23-2012
And...scene.


[Reply]
Sofa King 08:54 AM 07-23-2012

[Reply]
OnTheWarpath15 09:04 AM 07-23-2012
Originally Posted by Toad King:
Third and 8? Better throw 5 yards short of the sticks.

And stare down your receiver the entire time while doing so.
[Reply]
mrbiggz 09:06 AM 07-23-2012
Does anyone know if Pioli on Twitter?
[Reply]
King_Chief_Fan 09:21 AM 07-23-2012
Originally Posted by Inmem58:
It's a movement
yup...a bowel movement
[Reply]
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