On the first day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as I had not eaten since lunchtime the day before.
On the second day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as the doctors informed me that I may experience constipation.
On the third day, I did not shit. I became concerned. I began eating apples, taking a stool softener, and enjoyed a large bowl of indian beans.
On the fourth day, I did not shit. My bowels began to feel...too full. I drank two large glasses of Metamucil and two tablespoons of milk of magnesia.
It is the fifth day, and I have not shat, though farts are coming profusely and with great force. I took two tablets of Senokot (recommended by my doctor) and downed a large bowl of Kellog's Fiber Plus about an hour ago.
When I had knee surgery I didn't crap for 5 days and they wouldn't let me out of the hospital untll I did. I finally crapped a baseball size turd and it hurt like hell! [Reply]
C'mon, shit fucker. I have to teach a class in 30 minutes and I don't want to have to keep pulling up ChiefsPlanet on the big screen during the class. [Reply]
