Originally Posted by LaChapelle:
If you want to lower a car fine
If you lower a pick up and make it usless
you should be pulled from it and have your nuts removed on the spot
Originally Posted by Delano:
So I pour myself a beer, grab Don DeLillo's Falling Man, and head out onto my deck only to have the wind come up and a bank of clouds roll in.
WTF!? Posted via Mobile Device
that sucks man.
look on the bright side though. A herd of pigeons or crows coulda flew in and shat all over the place so that woulda been worser.:-)
I hope my boss doesn't come out here this afternoon. Its not that he's a bad guy, its just that I've worked hard this week and don't feel like being productive this afternoon. It is time to wind down for the weekend. I am ready for a cold beverage. Posted via Mobile Device
The Cheeseburger-flavored Doritos are freaky. They really kinda do taste like cheeseburgers. And the Spicy Sweet Chili ones taste like teriyaki. I wonder, if eaten together, they'd taste like a teriyaki burger...
The boss came out, but it was ok because my numbers are good. Actually made the afternoon go a little faster. 1hr until FREEDOM! Posted via Mobile Device
Burke Dennings: Tell me, was it public relations you did for the Gestapo or community relations? Karl: I'm Swiss! Burke Dennings: Oh, of course. And you never went bowling with Goebbels before either, I suppose? Nazi bastard.
Bilbo Baggins was reclining in his favourite outdoor chair, smoking his pipe outside his comfortable but modest home when up from the road came an unexpected commotion. 'What is all the fuss about' he wondered. Then from around the corner ran a small group of Hobbits; their screams and shouts carried an air of such urgency that Bilbo immediately sat upright. As the group of intensely distressed hairy footed locals rapidly approached, one of them tripped and fell forward.
What Bilbo then witnessed made his blood freeze and his face turn white; in a petrified state he watched as a dark and glistening wraith lept forward from its unseen ambush and set upon its hapless victim. Horrified, yet somehow mesmerised, he watched as the beast lurched upon its pray; rending and tearing, the elongated head, prehensile spiked tail and all too efficient claws quickly brought an end to the downed struggling hobbit.
The unfortunate halfling's body had become still; but the screaming had not yet stopped.
Bilbo dartingly looked about for the source of the screams. With his heart rate quickening he located the whereabouts of the other members of the fleeing party. He saw that they too were being chased down and slaughtered by unearthly demons. Several of the things could be seen leaping from between the trees. Some were dragging off their victims. One of them stopped in its tracks and turned to face in his direction.
Bilbo acted Quickly. He lept from his chair and turned tail for the safety of his house. His small legs carried him ever so swiftly and it seemed to him he was instantly indoors. He slammed the front door shut and threw the bolt into place. The door suddenly jarred from the impact of a heavy weight without. The bolt and hinges held fast.
Bilbo stood in the middle of his house sweating and shaking. 'What are those things?' he said aloud to himself on the verge of panic. 'How...how...how did they get into the Shire..? What am I going to do..?'
Then inspiration took control. Bilbo rushed to the back of the house and removed a small elegantly carved wooden box. Inside was a glittering ring.
'I know...I...I know I shouldn't do this... But... I don't have much choice!' He panted and slipped The Ring onto his finger and promptly vanished from the sight of all God's creatures. His sudden vanishing trick also gave him a sense of courage. He made his way once more to the front of the house.
Entering the front room his gaze fell upon the door that had been broken in and lay off of its hinges. Surely he would of heard such a noise as having his front door torn asunder, but panic has a way of dilating your attention and bringing your focus to bear on other matters. Like now, Bilbo's full attention was on the large gleaming beast that stood inside; and stooped under the ceiling of his abode.
Bilbo stood motionless, not breathing. He knew he was invisible. He knew if he stood still - as still as the Ancient Stones - he would escape detection. Bilbo stared in quiet terror as the demonic presence slowly and methodlically investigated the room. Its deliberate movements were accompanied by excessive salivations and the uncomfortable sounds of wet slithering membranes.
It slowly moved around the room and came to a point where it stood at an arm's length from Bilbo... His staring eyes watched as the light played weird and lurid reflections across the dragon's enormous smooth head and metallic teeth. That was what he thought it must be. Some sort of dragon. Something he had never heard of before.
It turned once more to face him and and slightly cocked its head. Bilbo experienced a brief sensation of utter terror, devoid of comprehension, as the glittering chrome mandibles deftly punctured his skull.
