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Hall of Classics>The Declaration Of Independence, MO - The People vs. Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel
Hammock Parties 02:57 AM 07-21-2012
The Declaration Of Independence, MO


The People vs. Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel


When in the course of football events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the fandom bands which have connected them with a Quarterback, and to assume among the Powers of the NFL, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Football and of the NFL's Goodell entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all Quarterbacks are not created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain Unalienable Talents, that among these are Arm Strength, Accuracy and the Pursuit of Championships.

That to secure these talents, Quarterbacks are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the Consent of the Fanbase, That whenever any Form of Quarterback becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Quarterbacks, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Attendance At Arrowhead and Hope For A Championship.

Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Quarterbacks Long Established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably The Same Offense evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to Throw Off Such Quarterbacks, and to provide new Guards (however, neither left nor right) for their Future Rooting Interests.

Such has been the patient sufferance of these Chiefs Fans; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Offense. The history of the present Quarterback is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an Absolute Run-First Offense over the State of Missouri.


To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.


Cassel 3:16


Spoiler!


Playoff Teams Beat Cassel At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Winning Teams Beat Cassel At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Cassel Lacks Deep Passing Ability


Spoiler!


Cassel Makes Offensive Linemen Worse


Spoiler!


Cassel Struggles Against Good Defenses At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Cassel Struggles Against Elite Quarterbacks At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!



We, therefore, the Representatives of the United States of Chiefs Fans, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme GM of Arrowhead for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Chiefs, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Chiefs fans are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent of Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel.

That they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the Patriot Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of New England, is and ought to be totally dissolved.

And that as Free and Independent Chiefs Fans, they have full Power to levy Boos, conclude Peace, contract Alliances with Dwayne Bowe, establish Commerce with Top Five Picks, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent Fans may of right do.

And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Playoff Fortunes and our Sacred Fandom.


SIGN BELOW


This post made possible by SNR, Coogs and
The Gang Of 14.
Statistics compiled by ESPN, PFF and PFR

Dedicated to 'Hamas' Jenkins, our Patrick Henry, who said "Give Me Sanchez, Or Give Me Death."









For further details, please review
The Pioli Facts.

The Declaration has been updated with statistics from 2012 and FINALIZED. Remove Matt Cassel from Kansas City. FOREVER.

[Reply]
BoneKrusher 06:13 PM 07-22-2012
Originally Posted by OnTheWarpath58:
Oh, yes. The game in which Mr. Wonderful threw for 4 INT's and a QBR under 40 and told the media he graded out perfectly.
That's our boy Matty.
whatta guy.:-)
[Reply]
splatbass 06:27 PM 07-22-2012
Originally Posted by SNR:
:-)

Did you ****ing READ the OP?
Yes. I wasn't replying about the OP. Did you read the post I was replying to? Are you illiterate?
[Reply]
RealSNR 06:58 PM 07-22-2012
Originally Posted by splatbass:
Yes. I wasn't replying about the OP. Did you read the post I was replying to? Are you illiterate?
It's just weird that you could read all those statistics about Cassel's failures and how he's NEVER been able to throw a good pass, and then say, "well, there IS the possibility that all those acrobatic catches were actually the best available passes he could have thrown on the field."

I mean, it'd be one thing if Cassel showed small incremental improvement in his game over the course of three years. But he hasn't even done that.
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 06:59 PM 07-22-2012
Originally Posted by King_Chief_Fan:
you got a raise due to the minimum wage rate increase......what is it you do?
:-)

I am not paid by the hour.

Cassel's hours, however, ARE NUMBERED.
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 07:00 PM 07-22-2012
Originally Posted by SNR:
I mean, it'd be one thing if Cassel showed small incremental improvement in his game over the course of three years. But he hasn't even done that.
but jamaal charles was hurt and todd haley is stupid and bill muir is too NOT CASSEL
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 07:01 PM 07-22-2012
Originally Posted by RunKC:
Does anyone have the gif of Cassel in the Ravens playoff game where he had like 10 seconds in the pocket and threw the INT? I believe it was in the late 3rd quarter.
You know, it has occurred to me that there are absolutely zero GIFs of Cassel failing against the Ravens.

This week I'll rectify that.

THIS THREAD IS JUST GETTING STARTED
[Reply]
splatbass 07:01 PM 07-22-2012
Originally Posted by SNR:
It's just weird that you could read all those statistics about Cassel's failures and how he's NEVER been able to throw a good pass, and then say, "well, there IS the possibility that all those acrobatic catches were actually the best available passes he could have thrown on the field."

I mean, it'd be one thing if Cassel showed small incremental improvement in his game over the course of three years. But he hasn't even done that.
I like facts before I make up my mind about something. I don't have facts about those particular throws the person I replied to was talking about, so I won't form an opinion about it.

This forum has enough unfounded opinions based on hate and anger.
[Reply]
RealSNR 07:10 PM 07-22-2012
Originally Posted by splatbass:
I like facts before I make up my mind about something. I don't have facts about those particular throws the person I replied to was talking about, so I won't form an opinion about it.

This forum has enough unfounded opinions based on hate and anger.
Oh facts? You mean like the stuff GoChiefs posted?
[Reply]
In58men 07:13 PM 07-22-2012
Originally Posted by Toad King:
You know, it has occurred to me that there are absolutely zero GIFs of Cassel failing against the Ravens.

This week I'll rectify that.

THIS THREAD IS JUST GETTING STARTED
It's a movement
[Reply]
BoltWalt 07:18 PM 07-22-2012
I can't believe I read the whole thing... !
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 07:19 PM 07-22-2012
Originally Posted by BoltWalt:
I can't believe I read the whole thing... !
Now you can troll us with confidence.
[Reply]
BoneKrusher 07:21 PM 07-22-2012
Originally Posted by Inmem58:
It's a movement
yeah
like womens lib, Toads gonna liberate Castle.
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 07:24 PM 07-22-2012
By the way, here is a desktop-sized version of The Signing. It could use some cool text or something maybe for an "official" desktop if someone wants to make one. This version doesn't have Haley or Bowe.

http://i.imgur.com/rPtoI.jpg

Originally Posted by BoneKrusher:
yeah
like womens lib, Toads gonna liberate Castle.
All I can free...is your mind.


[Reply]
splatbass 07:52 PM 07-22-2012
Originally Posted by SNR:
Oh facts? You mean like the stuff GoChiefs posted?
First of all, Clayton obviously needs to get out of his mom's basement and get laid. Second of all the stuff he posted doesn't tell me what Cassel did in the offseason workouts, it just shows his general tendencies.

Are you really arguing against getting all the facts before forming an opinion? I hope to hell you are never on a jury.
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 07:56 PM 07-22-2012
Originally Posted by splatbass:
Second of all the stuff he posted doesn't tell me what Cassel did in the offseason workouts.
:-)

OFFSEASON WORKOUTS WILL SAVE US, EVERYONE!

THIS YEAR...THE KING WILL BE FAIR, AND OUR COLONIES WILL FLOURISH!

THIS YEAR.
[Reply]
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