Fuck Ketchup. Fuck Masterpiece.

But yeah, I get it. I'm in the minority on this one, but I just fucking hate it. So much to the point that I'll order a hamburger that has all the shit on the side WITHOUT pickles, because I hate pickle juice being on my lettuce. It fucks up the lettuce.

Yep, I'm an asshole, but sure - I'll acknowledge.

No go on the dino-nuggets. Tyson's where it's at, fool :-)
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:-)

Yeah yeah yeah. I know. I get it.

It's not even like all I had was shit best value pickles growing up. My mom makes her own dill pickles that literally everybody that has ever had them has hit me up for some more, because they love them. Close as I can tell they're a unanimous hit.

Instant fuck off if you get those things near me.
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But again, how's that any different from KC putting a brown sugar glaze on everything or Texas drowning it all in black pepper.

Barbecue is nothing more than making mediocre meat less so. You take tough, stringy, fatty meat with a bland flavor profile, put a rub on it and slow cook it while throwing carcinogens at it to make it tender and flavorful.

If you're out there smoking a tenderloin, you're doing it wrong. It's ALL mediocre meat.
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Oh, and since we're starting a Buehler445 pile on, fuck Ranch.

I goddamned hate ranch with a passion unseen by humanity. And when sisterfuckers put that shit on everything, it makes me want to choke them out and teach them what food is really supposed to taste like before you douched it in shit sauce.
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I've hated sharp cheeses my entire life. I've finally started to slowly come around on simple sharp cheddar as I've cooked with it more.

But I've taken hell for years from people who bring these zillion dollar fancy cheeses to a party and I'll pass on that shit like it's cheeze-whiz. Gimme cojack or something over that hard-rind shit that tastes like moldy almonds.

I take similar grief for expensive dry-aged steaks. Just not my bag. I had a 60 day dry aged ribeye once at Anne Gunns and I could smell it as they cooked it. Took one bite, put it in a box to give to my wife for lunch and ordered a plate of chicken wings. Rich for the sake of being rich just makes it lousy. Gimme a 21 day wet age every time.
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You just crossed the line, motherfucker.
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I make my own. Can't do store bought but some Duke's Mayo (has to be Dukes; Heilmann's will work in a pinch but Duke's is far superior), sour cream, buttermilk, granulated garlic, green onions, parsley, dill, black pepper, lemon juice and a pinch of cayenne. Mix it until it tastes right. Put the buttermilk in last to get the consistency dialed in.

The lemon juice is what will make or break it. Too much and it's bitter, too little and it there's not enough flavor. It's a half-teaspoon either way between fucking it up and nailing it.
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LOL

I’ve never done the dry age stuff.

I did go down the cheese road pretty hard one time. When my wife was pregnant with our daughter she was all about cheese. So I took it as an opportunity to expand my pallet some regarding cheese. And we bought a bunch of different kinds of cheese and gave them a whirl.

I’ve been a sharp cheddar guy for a long time, but otherwise I’ve had a similar experience to you. I will note that a higher quality cheese of the same type (eg Sargento Sharp Cheddar be Kroger Sharp Cheddar) carries a substantial improvement. But yeah. When you carve up this cheese that you really feel like you should eat because your dropped absurd coin on it, yeah. I’m with you.

I guess maybe The exception would be I’ve had some bleu cheese in restaurants that was really good. But I couldn’t get there on my one and the kid was born and the cheese thing ended so I never got there.

Im stride for stride with you, bro :-)
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Preach brother PREACH!!

via GIFER

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Who the fuck ruins good Q with vinegar/ pickles...sad shit it must be to need it
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Holy shit on pickle hate. If they weren’t so salty I’d eat them for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Doesn’t have to be with BBQ though.

And fuck Ketchup. That’s for kids. There’s so many good mustards out there that there’s basically no use for ketchup, IMO.
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Yeah, I'd say ketchup can fuck off too, except for one thing, . . . . corned beef hash. Perfect marriage with ketchup.

Don't HATE ketchup, . . . actually over the years I've found I don't necessarily HATE ranch even [I think Cool Ranch Doritos somehow acclimated me to the flavor], . . . but those two are among my most superfluous condiments. Condiments of last resort.

Oh, except the once and future King of hateable condiments, . . . Miracle Whip.
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I will do a ketchup and horseradish mix for lamb burgers. And yes, it’s passable for corned beef too. Otherwise, I don’t use it.

And yes, miracle whip is the worst of all!!!
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Blass-Fa-Me....
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Like you could cook anything more than hamburger helper.
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