Five days ago I had surgery.
On the first day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as I had not eaten since lunchtime the day before.
On the second day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as the doctors informed me that I may experience constipation.
On the third day, I did not shit. I became concerned. I began eating apples, taking a stool softener, and enjoyed a large bowl of indian beans.
On the fourth day, I did not shit. My bowels began to feel...too full. I drank two large glasses of Metamucil and two tablespoons of milk of magnesia.
It is the fifth day, and I have not shat, though farts are coming profusely and with great force. I took two tablets of Senokot (recommended by my doctor) and downed a large bowl of Kellog's Fiber Plus about an hour ago.
I'm on a mission. To shit.
Please, God. Let me shit.
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TBH I have shit 5 times already since I have been at work. I had golden corral yesterday and in order to 'get my money worth' I ate waaaaaaaaaaaay too much.
Maybe that will act as inspiration. If I can do it, you can too.
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Originally Posted by srvy:
I think its gonna be a grapeshot turd.
Little balls of disappointment. Very unsatisfying.
I'm betting its the plug type. A nice compact ball on one end, but once you break the seal all hell will break loose. Loose being the operative word.
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Jesus. Guessing you're taking some pain pills from the surgery?
I remember when I had an inguinal hernia surgery. They did it the old fashioned way - not laproscopically - and between the pain pills clogging me up and not having any strength in my core, it was a rough week.
Good luck. You're going to need it.
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