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Which of the following will happen today?
A camera shot will inadvertently capture Von Miller on the sideline stuffing cocaine baggies up the rectal cavity of a drug mule. - 50.00%
4 Votes
A helmet that fit Manning in the first quarter will no longer fit in the fourth quarter. - 50.00%
4 Votes
A knife will fall out of Von Miller’s sock. - 75.00%
6 Votes
A rival drug cartel will get into a gunfight with De mar ee ee ous Thomas’ mother in the stands. - 50.00%
4 Votes
Aqib Talib’s mother will rob a concessions guy at gunpoint. - 62.50%
5 Votes
At some point Manning will be benched “to change things up”. - 12.50%
1 Vote
Bob Costas will have a long monologue about Manning's greatness. - 62.50%
5 Votes
By virtue of numerous strange calls, Manning will be given an opportunity for a game-winning drive to seal his legacy. - 62.50%
5 Votes
Cam Newton will run onto the field in a Broncos uniform, having signed this morning to a league-minimum deal with the Broncos. - 12.50%
1 Vote
Despite a final score favoring the Panthers by 40, the NFL will announce “co-champions, in honor of Manning storied career". - 50.00%
4 Votes
Elway will be seen wildly celebrating the Broncos’ first touchdown to cut the Panthers’ lead to 41-7 - 62.50%
5 Votes
John Elway will be seen beating a third-world sex worker after a Manning interception. - 75.00%
6 Votes
John Elway will refuse to be the GM of the losing team and will demand a trade to the winning team. - 37.50%
3 Votes
Malik Jackson will dive into a pile late, leading with his forearm. - 62.50%
5 Votes
- The play above will be flagged. - 12.50%
1 Vote
Manning will appear in at least 10 commercials. - 62.50%
5 Votes
Neil Smith will be brought in to translate Aqib Talib’s postgame interview into English. - 37.50%
3 Votes
On a false start or offsides, every player will stop except Von Miller, who will blindside a relaxed Cam Newton. - 75.00%
6 Votes
- The play above will be flagged. - 25.00%
2 Votes
The game will stop temporarily because some Broncos players are coated in an illegal substance - 50.00%
4 Votes
- The play above will be flagged. - 12.50%
1 Vote
The league will force the Panthers to go with an 11-man roster to “maintain parity” - 25.00%
2 Votes
The NFL will have a halftime tribute to the five people murdered in Fero’s restaurant by Von Miller’s friends - 37.50%
3 Votes
The NFL will have more closeup shots of Manning’s face than coverage of the game. - 62.50%
5 Votes
The Panthers will be penalized more than the Broncos by at least 50 yards. - 62.50%
5 Votes
The Panthers will inexplicably play deep zones all game, allowing Manning to complete enough short passes to win. - 37.50%
3 Votes
There will be at least one penalty that nullifies a Panthers interception. - 75.00%
6 Votes
There will be at least three penalties that extend Denver drives on failed third downs. - 87.50%
7 Votes
TJ Ward will spear a Panthers offensive player. - 50.00%
4 Votes
- The play above will be flagged. - 12.50%
1 Vote
Von Miller will be arrested on outstanding warrants during the game. - 37.50%
3 Votes
With the game out of reach, Elway will order the Broncos to yield TDs so he won’t have the worst QB losses in Super Bowl history - 25.00%
2 Votes
None of the above. The NFL is clean and will treat both teams equally. - 12.50%
1 Vote
None of the above. The NFL is clean and will treat both teams equally and the Easter Bunny is real. - 12.50%
1 Vote
None of the above. The league needs to create a new marketing theme with Manning gone, and it'll be Newton. Panthers win. - 0%
0 Votes
Total Votes: 8
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